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Critics are men who watch a battle from a high place, then come down and shoot the survivors.   -Ernest Hemingway

I was 11 when I learned how men will clamor for power and authority. Sitting along side my father I watched men wrangle, argue and get worked up. Cooperation was absent. Collaboration wasn’t even an afterthought. The only objective was, “Who is in charge?” And it was apparent to me that more than more man wanted the role. Hence, the wrangling.

Life rolled on and as a young teenager working in a stereo store I saw more of the pecking order. I’d grown up seeing it so it wasn’t new. First appearance was likely on the playground as we’d all try to figure out what we’d play. Invariably somebody installed themself as the contrarian – the person who would go against what everybody else wanted. I quickly realized it had nothing to do with preference and everything to do with control. Power. Authority. Hoping to gain an advantage that might be imposed on the rest of us. Thankfully, I grew up in an American that wasn’t yet awakened. #Woke Mostly, such tactics didn’t work because we refused to cooperate. Lemmingitus would arrive later in America. It’s now a global epidemic.

Bullies almost always ran up against a tougher opponent. Or a group of people who figured together they could conquer a single bully who might have a few buddies hanging on. I was still in elementary school when I learned a verbal punch to the mouth could back a bully down. Quickly. It didn’t hurt that I wasn’t a shrimpy kid. I was tall and husky. Husky was once a size of boy’s clothing. 😉 True.

Bravery to confront the bully wasn’t hard for me. Watching, listening, paying close attention taught me mostly there was substantially louder barking than actual biting. Besides, I wasn’t terribly afraid of being bitten. Justice and rightness were more important to me. And peace.

By the time I was in 6th grade I was a world-class peace keeper. Experience will do that. I’ve no way of knowing how many fights I broke up. Or how many arguments I shut down. Enough that it taught me lifelong lessons in how to do it successfully.

Mostly, I didn’t want to be in charge, but I didn’t want anybody else to be either. That is, I knew my parents were my authority – and God. But we’re all out here in the yard playing and why did we need somebody to be in charge? Seemed best that we all just work to some agreement so we could get on with the business of playing before it got dark and we all had to go home. Playing was way more fun than arguing or fussing.

I grew up. And increasingly saw men (I’m excluding women only because as a boy growing up my experience was mostly with other men) willing to behave poorly as they fought for positions of power. Or esteem.

Pride goeth before a fall.

I’d learned that from the Bible. Heard it preached at worship services. Knew Bible stories that illustrated it well.

Ecclesiastes 10:6 Fools are put in many high positions, while the rich occupy the low ones.

I believed it.

I confess I’ve never had a day where I thought I was the smartest person in the room. Or the playground. Or at work. Or in the classroom. Rather, I knew I was not. Always dissatisfied with current knowledge and understanding I sought to learn more. Curious enough to ask the stupid question, I’d blindly ask without much thought to how ridiculous it might make me look. I figured I looked and sounded ridiculous anyway, so I might as well know and understand whilst looking and sounding ridiculous!

As with most episodes, I’ve given this subject considerable thought for a long, long time. Mostly because my curiosity continues to grow on the subject of power, authority, control and tyranny.

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 44:34 — 20.4MB)

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Restlessness is discontent and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure.      – Thomas A. Edison

Please tell a friend about the podcast!

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Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal

I plan to start vlogging from Hot Springs Village, Arkansas because the place is spectacular.
The scenery will make for a great backdrop. Plus, there are many places I’d like you to see.
To help, click the link (or the image below) to donate
Sweetwater Gift Certificates (use RandyCantrell [at] gmail [dot] com).
Thank you!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 52:36 — 48.2MB)

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During my first few months at a brand new job – my first job where I wasn’t working for my dad – I had a routine. I’d get out of class, drive to work and within minutes of walking into the stereo shop I would make my way to one of the sound rooms (yep, we had actual rooms with various stereo equipment set up; each room had sliding glass patio doors). I’d slip the vinyl out of the jacket, put the record on the turntable, grab a record cleaner called DiscWasher and clean it. Then, I’d lower the tonearm, turn up the volume knob on the amp and enjoy listening to Earth, Wind & Fire sing their famous song, “Shining Star.” The beginning (and middle and end) of that song continues to be among my all-time favorites. It was a terrific record.

“You’re a shining star, no matter who you are. Shining bright to see what you can truly be.”

 

Let’s get the obvious out of the way. Not everybody has the same brilliance in their shine. Truth is, some of us are quite dim with no shine at all. Dull. The wasted lives are visible proof. Too many lifeless eyes and emotionless expressions thanks to alcohol, Fentanyl and other narcotics.

Others are so bright others have a hard time even looking at them (or listening to them). Most have overcome adversities few fully know or understand. People determined to find a path forward. Resolved to reach a higher orbit where only the shining people reside.

Notice the lyric isn’t “I’m a shining star, no matter who I am.” Well, that doesn’t quite have the ring, but I notice pronouns. You’re – you are isn’t the same as I’m – I am. But the “no matter who you are” is inclusive, right?

In our heads, we don’t often think or feel like shining stars. It’s easy to see others as shining more brightly than we do. Just like it’s easier to focus on what we don’t have, than on what we do. Or to focus on what we can’t do versus what we can. It’s like we’re always doing exactly the opposite of what’s good for us.

I’ve noodled around with this particular episode for over 3 years. The draft beginning has sat here inside my WordPress dashboard that long. I’d come to look at it, think about it, write a little bit, then abandon it. Don’t know why.

It’s not because I didn’t like the topic. I guess I got distracted by other things. The likely explanation is that it’s just too upbeat and positive. 😀

Rhonda’s last birthday – this past summer – provoked a revisit of today’s show idea. I used to whip her with a letter on every birthday. I don’t mean the letter R or some other letter, but a hand-written or typed out letter. I haven’t done it the last couple of years because I know it beats her down. She’s not nearly as sappy or sentimental as I am. 😉

I can’t quite remember what prompted the beginning of this episode. Maybe I was thinking about Rhonda being the foremost shining star in my life. And now, as we’re nearing the end of another year, maybe that provoked some ideas.

Then there’s all this talk about mental health and the recent suicides in the news.

Then there’s the rampant disease of comparison-itis where so many folks let other people determine their level of satisfaction or happiness. It’s especially rampant during the summer, vacation months where people Instagram their exotic vacation photos. And others view them with envy wishing they could afford a single night at a local fancy hotel. Envy is a bitter thing.

As I am wont to do, I was thinking of these, and a variety of other things when I came back to this post.

A person you love very much. Let’s start there. In my case, my wife of over 40 years. Who celebrated a birthday last Sunday. Our family is officially celebrating this coming Sunday. We do things like that. Delay celebrations to match a more convenient time for everybody.

I was playing that Earth, Wind & Fire record – That’s The Way Of The World – as soon as it came out in January 1975. Rhonda and I wouldn’t go out on our first date until July 2, 1975. I’d been listening to that record almost daily for half a year. I didn’t listen to this in my car – 8 tracks were the musical form factor at the time. I only listened to this record on a good home stereo system. I still don’t know why. But funk wasn’t part of the musical mix deployed while driving.

That’s only important because during our first dates music by Jackson Browne and Pure Prairie League were the default go-to artists. I learned rather quickly that her musical tastes and experiences were fairly limited and not terribly congruent with my own. No matter, I fell in love with her quickly despite the fact that I owned no Beach Boys’ 8-tracks. I figured I wouldn’t impose Lou Reed, Led Zepellin and Little Feat on her right away.

Earth, Wind & Fire were on break during that July 4th holiday of 1975. But they dominated the rest of the year. Going back to class and work at the hi-fi shop were made easier thanks to this song. Uplifting, funky and the kind of tune to make your toes tap and your shoulders sway. It still has that power.

Rhonda was (and still is) a shining star. You’ve got one I suppose. I hope. It’s important stuff.

I slapped the headphones on and listened to this song about 3 times in a row while preparing for today’s show. Toward the end of the song, when the instruments go quiet and all you hear is the vocal harmonies…it dawned on me that a big part of what drives us is to BE a shining star to somebody else.

It’s more of that wonderment of us doing exactly the opposite of what’s often good for us. Not that finding somebody who is our shining star is bad for us. It’s not. But it can dominate our thinking, preventing us from better understanding and learning how we can be a shining star for somebody else.

I’m hopeful that with Rhonda I killed two birds with one stone. She’s my star and I’m hoping I’m hers. Some days I figure I’m more like space trash, but so it goes. You have to earn your star every day, right?

Speaking of being discouraged. 😉

I’m always keenly aware of people who are suffering. Trouble attracts me. Like a magnet. It’s who I am. Coach, counselor, service provider, helper…pick some other description you prefer. They all apply to me. I have Spidey-senses for it. My intuition is always on full alert for folks needing a leg up. I’m quick to respond. It’s like a reflex. Almost automatic.

Last week we talked about how some folks relish having a bad day…and make it who they are. I usually steer pretty clear of such folks. I’m talking about the folks who quietly suffer and endure. There’s a vibe I get knowing somebody is going through a hard time. I can’t explain it. I don’t even fully understand it. Best I can tell, from all my study and observation, is that we all have these micro signals we give off. Some people are like me, we pick up even the most subtle signs. Others don’t even notice.

I’ve learned not to intrude or impose. Instead, I politely inquire. That’s usually all that’s required to break the dam and begin the conversation because I’ve also learned that such people crave somebody they can confide in. Safe harbors are inviting. Rare, but inviting.

When you’re a no-talent hack, you have to lean hard into the one-trick you’ve got. This is my trick. Without it, I might just be space trash. But with it, I can be a shining star for a few.

Please tell a friend about the podcast!

• Join our private Facebook group
• Email me

Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal

I plan to start vlogging from Hot Springs Village, Arkansas because the place is spectacular.
The scenery will make for a great backdrop. Plus, there are many places I’d like you to see.
To help, click the link (or the image below) to donate
Sweetwater Gift Certificates (use RandyCantrell [at] gmail [dot] com).
Thank you!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 44:18 — 40.6MB)

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Many motivational speakers talk about having had a bad day. Most go on to share how they lost it all, or how life crushed them down below the ground level. Or left them homeless and destitute. But…

The Phoenix will always rise back up.

Never mind that quite a few stories we hear are fabricated. But not all of them.

Let’s talk about truth though. True stories. Your story. My story.

Reality.

 

“You had a bad day.”

Pain is a common topic for many people. I’m not talking about physical, injury-based or sickness-based pain. I’m talking about victim-based pain. “You hurt me,” kind of pain. “You did me wrong,” kind of pain.

The Internet has increasingly become a place where people enjoy airing out all their dirty laundry and pining about how much trauma they’ve experienced. For those inclined to see themselves as victims, the Internet is boomtown! A thriving place to enjoy feeling sorry for oneself. And for blaming others for one’s lot in life.

In spite of Tik Tok influencers who want to blast the boomers (my generation) for failing to understand things like work ethic, or why we have no clue about life in the world today, or a host of other complaints which every younger generation makes about the older generation (read your history and you’ll find many of those hippies who attended Woodstock went on to become quite successful on Wall Street and other places associated with financial success). Every generation thinks it’s the smartest one to ever come along until they get old and realize how wrong they were. 😉

I don’t care about where anybody is on the timeline of life because there’s nothing we can do about it. I didn’t have a say in being a baby boomer. I just was. My kids had no say in being Gen X or Millennial. By the way, if you’re as confused as I am about these labels I found this chart to be helpful.

Until I saw that chart I didn’t know there were 2 distinct groups of Boomers. It’s such a big group I suppose they figured it deserved to be split up. Generation Jones Boomers are those, like me, who were too young to be drafted into military service because of the war in Viet Nam. Our parents were mostly those Post War folks, people whose dad served in World War II.

Times Are Always Changing

And with it, language. Words like trauma.

For my generation trauma, suffering and pain denote something very different than they do for a Gen Z person. Being slighted by somebody, snubbed or even ridiculed isn’t any of those things for me, but they’re common among Gen Z. If you were write a mean, hateful review of this podcast for Apple Podcasts I would not think much of it. I certainly wouldn’t be traumatized by it. It would likely cause me no discomfort. I might be puzzled by it, but my viewpoint would have a lot more to do with the author of the review than me. I’d likely wonder what’s happening on somebody’s life that might compel them to use such a platform to air their grievance. And it’d be likely that the person to write such a review would have never reached out to me because that’s not how these things tend to go.

But take that same scenario and apply it to a podcaster half my age and it could devastate them. Might even cause them to quit podcasting. A single hateful review.

A complete stranger wielding that kind of power seems strangely weird to me, but I see it constantly. Podcasters (and anybody else doing something) consider themselves traumatized by some unjust critic. The trauma is only possible because we give others permission. We say YES to whatever it is we think is happening. Or we reject it and move on with our life, which is what I choose to do.

A person has a bad day. They take it out on me. And that affects me how? It doesn’t if I don’t let it. It can cause me to have a day, too – IF I permit. IF I decide I’m going to be negatively impacted by some ninnie who has no clue about me, or my life, or what’s going on with me – some stranger who happens to click PLAY on my podcast – then that’s on me, not them. By the way, no such thing has happened so I’m only speaking fictitiously because I’m so well-loved nobody would dare be ugly about me. Certainly not in public. 😀

Did my generation grow up learning to care less what others thought? Maybe.

Did my generation grow up not clamoring for approval? Likely.

Did my generation grow up working for tyrants and “the man?” Absolutely, but there were exceptions (even though they may have been few)

Did my generation learn work ethic worked and benefited our life? Of course.

Did my generation get it all right? Nope.

Here’s the difference. Because Boomers are older, we’ve endured more bad days. We’ve had to figure more out because we lived longer. Experience matters.

It also means we’ve experienced more mistakes. Found more things that didn’t work. And hopefully, we’ve figured out a few things that do work.

True value is from the self-reflection on those experiences though. The passing of time isn’t where the magic is found. It helps and it’s necessary, but it’s only valuable if we learn from it. Learning demands self-reflection and sober thinking about what we’ve experienced.

Perspective matters when it’s based on accumulated wisdom. Accumulated wisdom only happens when we learn, grow and improve.

Parents get it. As we’re teaching our kids certain things that we learned long ago, it’s disconcerting whenever they behave as though they’ve already figured it out when we see them clearly struggling to learn it. But with youth comes a degree of insecurity manifested as arrogance.

Well, permit some clarification. Some of us who are older parents get it. 😉

Just this week I was listening to a couple of podcasts whose hosts were between 30 and 45. One told the story of being down on the beach and his 4-year-old daughter refused to come in. The family had been at the beach all day and it was time to retreat back to where they were staying. The little girl didn’t want to leave and began to pitch a wild-eyed fit. Dad picked her up and she started screaming, “You’re hurting me, you’re hurting me.” Followed by, “I hate you, I hate you.” He had to carry her about 150 yards he said with her yelling those things the entire time. During the podcast he’s lamenting, “There’s just nothing you can do.”

They get to their room and he’s trying to clean the sand off of her in the shower, but she’s continuing her rebellion. This continues, according to him, for 15 minutes while inside the bathroom. Again, he repeats, “There’s just nothing you can do. You’re stuck.”

I’m listening to this thinking, “Oh, yeah. There’s plenty you can do.” In fact, there’s so much you should do as a parent.

The other podcast a mom is talking about her daughter going ice skating for the first time. The daughter has never skated and doesn’t know how, but she’s screaming at her mom to let her go. Like the other little girl, she’s screaming how the mom is hurting her even though mom is simply attempting to hold up so she can stay on her feet. “What do you do?” asks the mom on the podcast. Her co-host, another mom, says there’s just nothing you can do. “You don’t want people to think you’re abusing your child.”

And I’m thinking, “…but you are abusing your child by not correcting them and disciplining them.” Spanking is political suicide because people stopped listening to God. We think leaving children to themselves is wise, but God sees it as a source of shame for parents. Society used to see it that way, too. But we outgrew God and His wisdom.

The Bible has a lot to say about what we owe our children in order to serve them. 

“The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.”  – Proverbs 29:15

So many parents have a bad day because they’re unwilling to correct and serve their children. Now both parent and child are having a bad day. That bad day grows into a bad month, a bad year and may result in a bad life. All because the child deserved to learn what’s right and what’s wrong. What’s acceptable and what isn’t. Good or great behavior versus bad or poor behavior.

Political correctness has created so many bad days for so many people. And thankfully, the tide is now beginning – just beginning – to turn.

I avoided so many bad days because my parents and other adults in my life delivered a bad moment to me. A moment when I was spanked. A moment when I was scolded. A moment when I was warned – not threatened – that if I didn’t behave differently, then I’d suffer a consequence. Thankfully, I grew up in an era when parents warned. The difference between a warning and threat is a warning will most certainly have consequences if it’s not followed. A threat is empty. There’s much less certainty that there will be a consequence.

Bad Days Are Compounded When There Is No Correction

I was a pre-schooler in a small Oklahoma town where my dad had a service station and garage on Main Street. I enjoyed the smell of new tires, oil and all the other odors associated with that business. Mostly, I enjoyed the pinball machine that was inside the showroom area. I loved hanging around the place.

A preacher was coming to town, due to arrive at the bus station some blocks away. My dad was to pick him up.

This preacher was a fixture in my life. I loved hearing him preach and tell stories sitting in our home. But I was scared to death of him because he was an old man who didn’t suffer foolishness. Any kid who was unafraid of him was an idiot. If he scolded you, you snapped to.

I’d been lying. My mother’s attempts to correct this bad behavior had evidently fallen short. Knowing this preacher was mere moments away, and knowing how fearful I was of him, my mother warned me what would happen. Scared, I ran into the men’s room of my dad’s garage and locked the door refusing to come out. No screaming. No pitching a fit. Just fear knowing that I now had to face the consequences of my lying.

“When Lynwood comes, I’m gonna tell him what you’ve been doing (lying),” she warned.

My dad went to pick up Lynwood, the old preacher I loved, but feared. Within minutes a loud knock hit the bathroom door. “Randy, it’s Lynwood, come out here right now!”

That’s all I remember. I must have blacked out. 😀

That was over 60 years ago. The lesson remains with me even though Lynwood has been dead for a number of years now. What if that wouldn’t have happened? What if my life experience didn’t include that? Would I be better because the adults in my life just endured my foolishness? I would not be a better human if the adults in my life – those who claimed to love me – would have simply said, “Well, there’s just nothing we can do about his lying.” But that’s what’s been happening for over 30 years now and it’s largely why so many more people are having bad days that turn into so much more!

Joining The “Feel Sorry For Me” Tribe

It’s an enormous tribe. Growing more by the day.

People enjoy being part of something. Acceptance is a big deal. It’s bigger when you’re younger. I know. Because I was once young, and now I’m old.

Today, I don’t much care what anybody thinks unless what they think is incorrect. I have zero respect for false accusers and I’ve had a few. Pompous, arrogant, judgment-filled, self-righteous idiots with a dishonest agenda. They exist. Worldwide.

But otherwise, I’m not working to impress anybody or be accepted by anybody or be popular among anybody. Interview anybody over the age of 60 and you’ll find fewer people who care about those things than when you interview anybody under the age of 30. This is where the woke culture has had a devastating impact. It has motivated an increasing number of people to become part of the tribe. Gallup proved the point with LGBT identification in U.S.

Now you could – and I think you’d be right – focus on the decline of morality. You could (again, you’d be right) focus on the decline in respect for God’s authority and design. All of that aside, there’s a reason it’s been promoted as “gay pride.” Young people want to be accepted. They want to be part of the approved tribe. Certainly a tribe with pride. Additionally, the push to transition the gender of little kids, while shocking, it’s fitting of the agenda. I wasn’t shocked by Gallup’s results based on generations. Nor is it shocking that DEI (diversity, equality and inclusion) is mandated in every arena – work, school, government and religious organizations. As a Christian, here’s my response. Read Romans chapter 1 or listen to today’s woke culture. I trust God and His Word. The Creator of the world holds more power and authority than anything or anybody.

From all the current sexual/gender tribes to the more innocuous “woe is me” tribes, it’s still a powerful cultural pull, especially for younger people. Acceptance and attention are powerful magnets for us. When I was growing up there were always those kids in class who disrupted school. Almost daily. The adults properly taught me that many of those kids wanted or needed attention. There was probably something to that. People chase attention in a variety of ways, some good and some bad.

Before my school experience I saw it in sickness. I noticed people who enjoyed the attention ill health got them. I was just a little kid who would later learn some of these people were sick all the time. They enjoyed having people ask, “How are you feeling today?” Without the illness, people might not ask, making them the center of attention. Then who would they be?

I’ve seen it trickle down in the past 20 years to relishing being a victim. Culture has contributed as society has shifted away from personal responsibility and accountability. It’s terrific. Nothing is my fault. I’m to blame for nothing. The Universe imposes on me. Government tells me what’s right and wrong. God disappears. My obligations to God disappear. Acceptance is my virtue. Being part of the tribe – Tribe Tolerance – is how I’m going to live because it’s the way forward. Everything else is mean, hateful and intolerant.

It’s A Lie, But What We Believe Can Become A True Delusion

Enter the word “trauma.” You hear it daily if you’re paying attention. Every injustice and unkind word is traumatic. Trauma that has so damaged me I’m now struggling and it’s urgent you – all of you – know what I’ve endured.

“It’s not my fault” should be replaced with “Now what am I going to do.”

What if we decide to forego the blame game and embrace the responsibility we have for our own life? How might that work out?

Well, it’d be empowered making us accountable for our behavior, including our responses to whatever bad (or good) things happen to us. Or…

We’d have to accept responsibility for the outcome of our life – and depending on that outcome – we might not feel great about ourselves.

That scares the snot out of people. Wait a minute, what? I have to accept responsibility for my own life? That’s not fair!

A Broken, Crippling Viewpoint

Short-term gain for long-term (even lifetime) pain. The attention feels good. People notice. They think about us. Even feel sad or sorry for us. Pat us on the back. Tell us how sorry they are we’re going through this. Suddenly, the spotlight feels good. Addicting maybe. So we come back for more. And more. And more.

Maybe never realizing that we’re weakening ourself with every encounter. Damaging our resolve. Injuring ourself more than any perceived trauma we may have endured earlier in life. Because now, we’re helpless. We’ve learned how to be helpless.

Recovery may be impossible, but it’s a low depth from which to recover. Many go so deep they can’t find their way back to the surface of personal responsibility. Back to where the air is fresh and they can breathe again.

A bad day becomes much, much more because we give it permission to grow, intensify and define us. Like a tropical storm that begins very small in the middle of the Atlantic, that sudden surge of pleasure we get from others who feel sorry for us builds. Compounds. Picks up energy along the way. Months or years later, it’s a full blown self-centered, woe-is-me hurricane with a deadly force. A force so powerful it overtakes us and destroys our willingness to deploy grit and determination to make our life better!

Don’t Let Disappointments Define You

This isn’t about minimizing bad things that happen to us, but it is about refusing to magnify them. We enlarge things when they’re beneficial. Like photos. But we can enlarge them so much they lose value. Other things are more harmful if we enlarge them. Like disappointments. Or suffering.

Where’s the benefit?

Is it in hoping others will feel badly for us?

Or hoping they’ll notice us more?

How does that help us?

Yeah, I’d like everybody to know me as the King of Disappointment. Or maybe the Queen of Suffering.

That’s hardly an admirable reputation goal.

Please tell a friend about the podcast!

• Join our private Facebook group
• Email me

Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal

I plan to start vlogging from Hot Springs Village, Arkansas because the place is spectacular.
The scenery will make for a great backdrop. Plus, there are many places I’d like you to see.
To help, click the link (or the image below) to donate
Sweetwater Gift Certificates (use RandyCantrell [at] gmail [dot] com).
Thank you!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 47:46 — 43.7MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | Email | RSS | More

During a recent summertime hike we approached the bridge. A recent storm had blown through and knocked down a tree that fell across the bridge. Not a big deal. We just stepped over it carefully. Thankfully the bridge didn’t suffer any major damage. Neither did we. It was an obstacle that wasn’t there the last time we trekked through the area. It only slowed us down slightly.

Some obstacles are like that. At first glance we may exclaim, “Oh no!” — only to realize, it’s not that bad. Or tough.

Some obstacles are worse. That tree could have collapsed the entire bridge forcing us to improvise by adjusting our course over the creek below. The trek would have been slightly more difficult. The path wouldn’t have been as straight-forward or smooth, but we could have followed the path forward. Mostly, it would have been an inconvenience.

Life has shown me that’s how most obstacles are. An inconvenience.

We often make them out to be worse than they really are because they’re unexpected. They make us spend more time lamenting their existence than we may in figuring out how to effectively navigate past them.

Other obstacles are different and those are the ones I’m most focused on today. The obstacles that present themselves because we’re intentionally forging a new path. A better path. One we believe will take us further. Or faster. And because it’s a new path things appear like obstacles, but we really have no way to know because we’ve never ventured this way before. I wonder if we’re seeing things correctly.

For the past year plus I’ve spent considerable time analyzing a podcast that I began in June 2021 – Hot Springs Village Inside Out. I started the show with a co-host, but a year in we both got COVID and I had a whole lot going on. I remained very active behind the scene doing all the production work, including posting the shows and all that mundane but necessary work required to get a podcast out in the ether. I lost interest in co-hosting for a variety of reasons – mostly because it was a podcast about a specific community and I wasn’t there as much as I wanted to be. My co-host lived their full-time. It just made sense to me to step away, clear my head – and my deck of all the stuff going on and figure out a path forward. A different, new path.

In March 2023 I moved forward from The Yellow Studio v2.0 to v3.0. Then by May I moved forward some more by going to The Yellow Studio v3.1. You should know that when I built/assembled The Yellow Studio, I’d never done anything like that before. I started from scratch and had to learn. A lot! Over 20 years ago things were much more difficult and complicated. The technology for podcasting didn’t easily exist. For a podcaster to do what I most wanted to do – operate using a broadcast workflow – it was hard and expensive because it required hardware. I wanted to hit RECORD and have my sound be as good as being on a Skype call. Yes, Virginia, we were once relegated to making Skype calls because all these other services like Zoom didn’t exist.

This meant lots of hardware and even more cabling. Routing those cables was a major obstacle when once conquered left you staring in the face of yet another monster, adjusting the hardware so it’d sound just right. No sooner had I hurdled one obstacle, then I’d be facing a higher hurdle. Or so it seemed. Mostly because the learning curve was steep. But…

Once the obstacles were overcome – and they all were – then it was easy. I simply fired up the machinery, got behind the mic and hit RECORD. Only if a cable or connector failed – or forbid, a piece of equipment failed (yes, it happened a few times), I had a very predictable workflow that…well, it just worked.

Every path forward will most certainly have obstacles, if only your need to learn something new. Usually, there’ll be other obstacles brought about by the result of traveling an unknown path. It’s why forward progress is such an individual and personal journey. I can benefit somewhat from somebody else who took a similar path, but it’s not going to be the same. We’re different people. We’re on the path at different times. We’ve entered the path at a different spot. We’ve got different people in our traveling party who are helping or hindering us. We’re going to believe different things about the path. We’re going to see the path and the obstacles through a different perspective. Similar paths can result in extraordinarily different experiences and outcomes.

It may explain, in part, why so many people don’t dare to venture out into unknown territory. It’s filled with risks. Rewards, too perhaps, but it’s just so easy to think about what might go wrong. Look and listen to the news media if you dare to challenge that idea. Remove fear mongering from the media and you’ll be left with very little.

“Be afraid. Be very afraid.”    – line from the movie, The Fly

No. Don’t.

Instead, be thoughtful, purposeful and intentional. Believe in things that are true. Believe in your ability to figure it out.

Permit me to use the evolution of The Yellow Studio to illustrate. 

I went from not even thinking about having a podcasting studio to saving, investing and creating one. Prior to 1997 I wasn’t thinking of using the Internet for much except email. The novelty of the Internet was captivating, but I wasn’t visionary enough to see what it would or could become. It was magical, but cumbersome. Nothing was easy, including connecting. Slow modems. Slower loading times where we’d anxiously watch a web page appear from the top down, often taking many seconds before we could see the entire page. It was all new! Unknown to me and most people.

The path forward had a ton of obstacles. Each of those obstacles created an industry – a solution. Sometimes a number of solutions. Thinking back to 1997 and the industries that didn’t even exist startle me back to reality as I hear people today pine about how A.I. is going to eliminate jobs. It’ll change ’em, that’s for sure…but if it follows the obstacles and problems of the early Internet, it’ll spawn a boatload of things we’ve yet to experience. Innovations do that. It was true with the printing press, cars, planes, electricity, telephones, tractors, and most everything else that has come along to change life.

Thoughts of creating a setup where I could engage in live Skype calls – which I could easily record – and where I could record audio for documenting things for the future of my kids (and family) sparked me to figure it out. I was starting from scratch.

Nothing was easy. It was all problematic. But doable.

Time was wasting so it never dawned on me that I might be better off just waiting until the tech got easier. One obstacle is not knowing the present or the future. I never thought, “You know, one day this won’t be so hard.” Somebody else may have been thinking like that, but not me. I just knew what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it.

My path forward focused on a workflow that I knew needed to fit how I life. I was disinterested in making major adjustments to the way I most enjoy working. Being creative was at the heart of it all. I wanted to communicate. Mostly, I wanted to document thoughts, ideas, feelings, beliefs, experiences and insights. I didn’t want to spend hours cobbling things together after the fact. I didn’t want to edit after I recorded. I wanted to edit as part of the preparation because for me, that happens during creation.

A friend put language to it by asking me, “Do you want the recording workflow or the broadcasting workflow?”

Recording is like musicians making a record. They lay down tracks, add things…add more things, then some engineer puts it all together to produce the final product. There’s a lot of live recording followed by intense editing to get it just right.

Broadcasting is like radio talk shows. The hosts prepare their show and go on the air. It’s live and there is no editing. If their show airs from 6 am to 10 am, then it goes out during those 4 hours and it’s over. Done.

I was familiar with both workflows because I was always into music and I had gone through broadcast journalism in college. Broadcasting workflow was my only consideration. Again, I wanted to spend time creating before recording, not afterward. It wasn’t about the tech for me. It was about what I wanted to say and document. The message always took priority, but the tech was the obstacle. How could I do what I most wanted and do it in a way where it didn’t dampen my enthusiasm? My biggest hurdle was fear that if I didn’t get it right, I’d wreck what I most wanted to do.

The details of the broadcast workflow tech don’t matter except to reiterate that the tech required hardware, which required dollars. Recording workflow was much, much cheaper, but I knew that was a dealbreaker for my purposes. So the obstacle of money was apparent and couldn’t be overcome unless I was willing to compromise what I most wanted. I wasn’t willing so I began to save and save and save some more.

Patience was a virtue. While I was saving I was scouring the universe for the best deals. The heart of The Yellow Studio were microphone preamps that were $1,000 each (I wanted 2 because I wanted a 2 microphone set up so I could have a guest, even though I knew that wouldn’t happen regularly). I found 2 brand new units, from an authorized retailer for $499 each. Turns out it was below dealer cost, but I snagged two of them because it afforded me to literally have 2 for the price of 1.

Months and months of saving, preparing and diagraming how this would all be assembled started paying off. It was slow and arduous. When the gear was in place it got even more daunting because the signal chain – the way to connect all this stuff – was confusing. I just thought the money was the hurdle.

Paying for all this stuff was only the beginning.

During this time I was helping a young married couple. They were having a tough time of things during their first year of marriage. The bride said to me – almost every time we talked – “It shouldn’t be this hard.” My retort was always the same, “Who says?” Yes, marriage is tough. Early marriage can be especially difficult as we’re navigating this new life with another person. The question isn’t how hard it is, but is it worth it? Only the husband and wife can answer that, but I assured this couple…it’s worth it. And it’s the obstacle you both must commit to overcoming.

The bride’s logic was that love shouldn’t be difficult. That love should make things easy and simple. No, love makes some things hard. But as my time with them proved – the hardest part of love is selflessness. Being selfish was easy for them. That’s where the difficulties arose. Selfishness is THE obstacle I’ve seen most in marriages.

As I was constructing The Yellow Studio I was thinking about this bride’s lamentation, “It shouldn’t be this hard.” Each time I’d answer, “Who says?” Bringing The Yellow Studio into existence was hard, but I was 100% confident it’d be worth it. Without labor there is no baby!

One step forward, two steps back. Okay, not really but it often felt that way. All the gear in place and the cabling kinda sorta done…how did I want to record? Do you want an outboard digital recorder like the handheld unit I’d had for a few years? Do you want to record on software in your computer? If so, which software do you want to use?

Again, I took the same approach – what would ideally suit what I most wanted to do — create? I avoided any solution that might impede what I was chasing. That meant avoiding recording software solutions that had a boatload of features I’d never use. There are lots of audio recording software solutions that can record anything and everything, including multiple music tracks. Since I’m not a musicians – except in my imagination – I avoided solutions like ProTools or Apple Logic Pro. They’re terrific, but not ideal for what I wanted to do – which was record narration (conversations or monologues). And since I already had a digital recorder my first recordings were done straight into that. Eventually, I found a software aimed at spoken word – Twisted Wave. I’ve been using it for years. It’s simple, straightforward and has all the features (and more) that I need.

Now I was off and running. Producing shows was fun. I was creating just as I had hoped. Once all the hurdles were cleared, I was finding a rhythm that suited me. I spent time taking notes, thinking about what I wanted to record for posterity (which is all I ever thought this podcast would be – me talking to my kids and family after I died). I wrote, which is what I enjoyed doing. And I wrote some more. The process was even more invigorating than I had imagined.

None of that would have happened if I had begun lamenting, “It shouldn’t be this hard!”

Hard Is Worth It

Only you can determine if that’s true.

Learning the guitar I found hard. So I quit. Multiple times. But the obstacle showed me the way forward when I understood that my love of the guitar had nothing to do with my ability to play it. It had everything to do with my loving to listen or watch it being played by folks who are really skillful. That’s what I loved. And still do.

Self-aware as usual is the key. The better we can know ourselves, the better able we are to successfully confront our obstacles. Sometimes we can leverage the obstacles to learn things about ourself. Like me learning that my love for guitar had nothing to do with me trying to become a musician.

What are your obstacles teaching you? Are you looking for learning or are you just looking to complain?

A bride can complain about how hard year 1 of the marriage is going. Or…she can be thankful for her husband and all the blessings she has. She can dwell on all the wonderful things that result in being married and accept each challenge as an opportunity to experience something new so she can grow and improve. Not just on her own, but with her husband. Together. It’s her choice.

It’s always our choice.

For over 23 years I’ve enjoyed The Yellow Studio because I dared to embark on something I’d never done before. I gathered others around me who knew more than me. I listened. I asked a ton of questions. I spent countless hours reflecting on what I most wanted.

Every obstacle appeared before in light of what I was most determined to do – create. Namely, create something that would document things for my young kids – for my family. I had no profit motive. I had no aspirations of building an audience. Rather, I was quite certain nobody would ever listen until after my death. My sole drive was to preserve some wisdom that had taken me a lifetime to learn in hopes I could give my children a leg up. Not that I wasn’t doing that in real time with them, I was. Daily. But now I was able to put something down “on record.”

The End Of One Thing Can Be The Start Of A Different Thing

Back in March 2023 The Yellow Studio v2.0 ended – it only morphed from v1.0 to v2.0 because an Aussie company named Rode introduced a single contraption that would replace my expensive array of hardware. I packed it up and moved it to where I’m now creating today’s episode, The Yellow Studio v3.1. By the way, version 3.0 didn’t last more than a month. It was in a more open room and it simply wasn’t’ going to work, so migrated to a large walk in closet where the acoustics are awesome! No hardware change. Just a minor location change a room away.

The obstacles were part of that process, too.

I thought v3.0 would be in place for awhile. I had no idea it wouldn’t work until I tried it. But after a few days it was apparent that my first idea wasn’t good.

Plan A may not be ideal. Sometimes plan M is way, way better.

It’s because of obstacles that I’m not fond of that whole burn the boats mentality. We may need those boats. You telling me we won’t have enough discipline to commit to our pursuit – so we have to trap ourselves into it? Well, what kind of a commitment is that? That’s idiocy.

What if this shore isn’t nearly as ideal as the one 3 miles up the coast? “It’s a shame we burned those boats!”

Don’t get trapped by culture that preaches foolishness is wisdom. We see it daily. Most of what we see and hear is colossal foolishness disguised as wisdom.

My longer term goal in ending v2.0 was to get to v4.0. Guess what? You can get from 2 to 4 without first passing 3. And you can’t advance past 2 until you’re willing to venture out toward 3. Without those, 4 is no where in sight. And 4 is what I was chasing hard.

Be Thankful The Path Isn’t Straight Or Linear

Imagine no pushback. No hurdles. No obstacles.

Imagine that nothing is difficult.

Do you realize how unrewarding life would be? What a curse that would be!

What if I hadn’t devoted myself to wooing Rhonda? Where’s the fun in that?

It’s not a given and we ought to be glad. Glad and happy that we have to work for it. That we have to overcome things to figure them out. Glad that we have to save our money to get that thing we really want. Glad we have the time to develop and grow those yearnings knowing we must wait for it. It’s extremely powerful and beneficial for our development and growth.

Appreciation grows, too.

Some years ago when Rode introduced this single contraption that would make my entire rack of equipment obsolete, I appealed to you guys to help me go from The Yellow Studio v1.0 to v2.0. You did. And it changed everything for me. For the better. For starters, so many people through the years had contacted me and said, “You’re not selling anything. Why aren’t you selling anything?” Others would send me something via PayPal out of the blue, unsolicited. With a note saying, “You never give us any way to support you.” The Rode contraption was so extraordinary I lost my mind and asked you to help. And it felt oddly bad and good at the same time.

But it challenged me in all the best ways. To see if I could elevate my game. To see if I could do better, even if by just the smallest margin.

Talent is always the constraint. I’ve never claimed to have very much. But talent wasn’t in play at the beginning because I just knew what I most wanted to do. You were never part of the plan. YOU were a happy accident I stumbled into and I’ve been very thankful I did.

Do you think my Rode contraption’s value was enhanced or diminished by that?

GREATLY ENHANCED.

Rode came out with version 2 and I saved and bought one. I now use it daily. But I didn’t sell the first one – the one you helped me get – so I could afford the second generation. No, I had determined I was going to keep using the first one because it’s special. Sentimentally so. YOU helped me buy it. It represents the value others place on this little idiotic podcast that in so many ways is still speaking to a couple of junior high kids. Oh, they’re grown up now. And that’s a whole ‘nother story, but I’m still thinking of some junior high kids every time I hit that RECORD button. And then there’s you. All of you. Those who contributed to help me by that first Rodecaster Pro and those who couldn’t, or didn’t – but those who dedicate their time and attention by clicking PLAY after I hit RECORD.

Had it been easy peasy…would we appreciate it? Would we feel as though we’d accomplished anything?

Not likely.

You know what I’ve learned about myself?

I like hard. Because anybody can do easy. It takes grit and determination to do hard though. Hard isn’t for anybody or everybody. It’s for those among us with a special resolve to find a way – to figure it out.

Everything is hard until it’s easy.

Everything is slow until it’s fast. 

If it weren’t so, then I fear I’d never learn. I’d never grow. I’d never improve.

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