On Being Driven

Not this kind of driven. Funny, but wrong definition of “being driven.”

Determination would be a good synonym for “driven.”

Sloping toward middle age (and past) has affected my drive. I don’t know that it’s lessened it, but it has changed it. I’m still very driven - determined - to accomplish some things. Sure, some things I aspired to accomplish as a younger man are gone by the wayside. They just don’t matter to me now.

For example, I’m less driven by money than I once was. I’m not rich. I am comfortable. I appreciate the role of money in a person’s life - especially in my own. But, more money isn’t going to do anything positive for me. My happiness is not determined by money. It never has been, but in my younger days I didn’t fully understand that.

I’m less driven by position than I once was. There was a time when a title at work may have meant something to me. No more. I still want to be in a leadership position, but as I review my professional life - I’ve spent most of it in positions of leadership. The determination to make a difference, whether you’re in charge or not, has never left me.

And for me - that’s the real rub. To make a positive difference! But I’m meandering. The real issue is, “How driven are you?” How driven are people and what is it that creates that drive?

Last night I watched a story on Real Sports about Tennessee women’s basketball coaching legend Pat Summitt. She has accomplished more than any other women’s basketball coach. Ever. In 34 years of coaching at Tennessee she has won the national title seven times, including last season. Currently, her team is ranked number 1 in the nation. She’s chasing that elusive back-to-back national championship this season. Pat Summitt is by all accounts a very driven person.

Based on the story reported on Real Sports coach Summit was driven by a demanding father. The only daughter among sons - her father, a Tennessee farmer, treated her like one of the boys. His demands were always high. His discipline strict. She said he only had two volume levels when he spoke: off or screaming.

Intensity is a word commonly used to describe coach Summit. It definitely described her father. She recounted going off to college and wanting to hug her dad - something she had never done. She hugged her mom and just told her dad that she’d see him later. She did put her hand on his shoulder. When she was 43 years old she was coaching in her first national title game. Her father was going to be in attendance. She prayed that night that she might win the title and hug her father. It seems the drive to win the title was merely a means to an end. A hug from dad. Her team won the title, her first. She embraced her dad for the first time. Age 43.

She commented that it was easier to embrace him after that. She said she’d tell him she loved him. But she commented that he never said it back. A tough man of the field never did learn how to tell his daughter that he loved her. She said she knew he did though. He died a few years ago. She never heard him say, “I love you.”

I cannot imagine it. Nor can I imagine the drive such a life created in Pat Summit. Clearly, it created in her a burning fire to accomplish great things. Perhaps other lives of accomplishment have similar driving forces. Would Pat Summit be the Pat Summit we know if her father had behaved differently toward her? What if he had been a man of outward displays of affection for his family? What if he’d been a man who knew a volume lower than yelling?

We’ll never know the answer. Pat Summit, like you and me, is the product of her up-bringing and her own self-will. She is the sum total of her life experiences. So are we all.

Later last night I watched a DVD documentary entitled, “The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters.”

It’s the story of one man’s quest to set the record score for the old-school arcade game, Donkey Kong - presumably the toughest game to conquer. Steve Wiebe is a junior high school math and science teacher who has struggled throughout life. Sadly, he’s been derailed time and time again. He seems to be chasing the ever elusive potential that is his life. He’s married with kids, a nice career and loyal friends. But something inside Steve drives him to continue to chase happiness because he’s lived a life of pushing boulders up hills. Nothing has come easy for Steve. It’s a funny, but nice story of his chase for the world’s record Donkey Kong score.

His drive is generated to finish something, be somebody and do something unique. He’s looking for whatever he think defines “success.” He’s a nice guy. He’s not intense. He’s not obnoxious. He’s just a good guy looking to accomplish something.

We’ve all got a story to tell. We’ve all got a drive toward something. Even a drive to do nothing is a drive. I’ve known people who declared they had no aspirations, no hopes, no dreams and no desires. I’m fairly certain that among sane folks, that’s impossible.

What sacrifices are you willing to make to accomplish something?

Pat Summit has spent years playing and coaching basketball. Thirty four years at Tennessee has resulted in reaching the mountain top (pun intended) 7 times. She’ll turn 55 this year. She has spent her entire life driven by a father who could not or would not express his approval or love.

Steve Wiebe is a 38-year-old teacher, husband, father and competitive gamer who holds the world record score for Donkey Kong. He spent years playing that specific game, but he plays drums, piano and draws. He’s not a failure, but he has viewed himself that way most of his life it seems. Driven to satisfy his own quest for self-approval Steve finally set the record.

Sacrifice is an enormous part of Pat and Steve’s story. Both gave up things in order to accomplish their goal. Both suffered hardships. Both faced challenges unknown to most who viewed their lives. Family and friends saw their torment, desire and passion.

What do people see in your life? What are you willing to give up so you can reach some goal?

The world is full of many impressive people who willingly go to great lengths to reach a goal. While a high score on Donkey Kong may seem a futile goal to most of us, for Steve Wiebe it was merely a symbol I suspect for success at life in general. And it was also a quest for fairness. Watch the DVD and you’ll understand. And coach Summitt isn’t unlike many who clamor for parental approval or love.

What drives people? It’s not always a succinct easy answer. It’s as complex as any single life.

How driven are people? Again, it varies. Some are driven with such single-minded purpose that nothing deters them. Others begin to chase a quest, then are soon turned toward a different quest. Many start strong, but never finish. Why?

As usual - I have more questions than answers. But this I do know. In the end, we all do what we want. Some of us just want it more I guess. Bill Clinton may have been onto something. The challenge is to find out what “it” is.

Most days I feel like those camels. Just riding around clueless about where I’m headed.