Too Much Dreams, Too Little Life

I often feel like Billy.

Life happens even if you’re not quite ready.

“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” is a common refrain when we look back at a decision or choice with the realization that our dreams would have been better served by doing just the opposite of what we did.

What if our dreams all came true though. “Be careful what you wish you,” has been a longstanding warning. It has always struck me odd because it presupposes so many things. Namely, it assume that merely wishing a thing will make it so. It also assumes that no matter how grand or self-serving the wish, you’ll likely get it - so wish with care. Phooey!

I cringe every time I hear people say, in their most encouraging voice, “You can be anything you want to be.” There are variations of it. “You can do whatever you put your mind to,” is a favorite of many people. “You can do it if you try hard enough,” has been uttered by many well-meaning parents. Even those who have idiots for children.

When a world-class athlete says that about himself, or herself - it makes perfect sense. Tiger Woods can tell us that he can win the next major tournament if he just goes out prepared to give it his best effort. That’s true. But it’s not true for the millions of golfing hacks. The man behind the voice matters.

Dreams vary. In scope and scale they are wildly different. Did Tiger Woods or Earl dream that he’d be the world’s highest paid athlete? He made over $122 million last year in winnings and endorsements. It’s been projected that his career earnings will top the $1 billion mark by the year 2010, if not before. Did he dream that?

I play in a volleyball league - coed recreational. It’s one of those just for fun leagues, but unfortunately the competitive nature comes out in most of us. Some of us are able to rein in our stupid thoughts of youthful athleticism. Most of us didn’t even have it when we were young. We just thought we did. I have no dreams of grandeur when I step onto a volleyball court. Well, I do actually dream about ending an evening without major injury. For me, that’s a victory and a dream come true.

Last night we were up against some dreamers. A couple of the guys had visions of being Karch Kiraly. That’s not a realistic dream to have when you: a) are approaching 40 or older, b) have a vertical leap no higher than 4″, c) have more than 30% body fat, d) have man-boobs that are the envy of every woman on your team, d) wear black socks with your white gym shoes and e) lack the sufficient hand-eye coordination to operate a paddle ball.

Some set their sights oh so low. The dream to spike a volleyball in a coed-rec league is quite a low accomplishment really. And if the dream does come true, so what? Tiger made $122 million last year and you want to feel good about being able to spike a volleyball? I’ll bet you can’t do it twice in a row!

Many dreams seem to hinge on money or fame. Some on accomplishment, but usually the accomplishment is driven by money or fame, or both. American Idol illustrates my point.

I’m unsure what my dreams are any more. I’m too old now. I’ve been jaded by the reasoning of the adult world that preaches more about goals, than dreams. Don’t you know that a dream is only a wish unless you develop a plan? Blah. Blah. Blah. Adults suck all the life out of most childhood productivity - eventually.

I remember laying under big shade trees or playing the woods running through ground blanketed with pine needles. And doing lots of dreaming. About one day being able to drive. About girls. About having fun. About building a new fort. About cars. About sports. About water balloon fights. About sleeping over at a friend’s house so we could stay up all night and cut up. About how to get up the courage to ask out a girl who captured my attention. About being a rock star. About how cool it would be to not have to go to school. About what we’d do when summer arrived. I used to do so much dreaming.

I reached an age where I could drive. I bought a car or two that I wanted. I asked out the girl who captured my attention. I even married her. I built more than a handful of forts. I played sports - still do. I’ve had more water balloon fights than I can count. I’ve slept over at many friends’ houses and we’ve stayed up all night joking and laughing. I’ve experienced summer vacations until adulthood took them from me. But, I’ve never been a rock star.

More dreams have come true than not. Perhaps there is something to, “Be careful what you wish for.” Dreaming dies only when we do. Maybe our days are numbered based on our ability to keep the dreams alive. I know I’m not nearly done with my dreaming.