Jake & Max

They’re brothers. Their mother is my daughter, Renae. That makes them my grand-sons.

As Max, the oldest, prepares for kindergarten next year, education has been quite the topic in the last year. Well, it really started even earlier.

My daughter is a certified Spanish high school teacher who left the classroom to be a fulltime mom. She’ll become an associate professor at a local college in January because she can do it twice weekly and still focus on mommydom.

We’re not Hispanic, but we do live in Texas. Renae wants her boys to be bi-lingual. That’s why, a couple of years ago, she and her husband looked to relocate to a school district that had a Spanish immersion program. Her boys will hopefully be bilingually fluent by the time they leave elementary school. It’s a goal for their family. Why? Because it’s about the kids. It’s about putting them in the best position possible for a bright, high-value future.

You could argue that being bi-lingual in English and Spanish is uniquely valuable in Texas, but it transcends our connection to Mexico. It’s about a mind that is capable of learning to communicate in two completely different languages, something I know nothing about. It’s about exposing these boys to a language – and all that goes with it – not native to them. It’s about sharpening their minds. And I suppose mostly, it’s about the possibilities for today and tomorrow.

Why We’ve Not Been Around Here Much

2011 has been a year like most…fraught with political upheaval, especially in education. I’m not political. At all. Sure, I have opinions and leanings, but I don’t enjoy or busy myself with politics. Unless you count listening to Rush Limbaugh, who I find wildly entertaining.

I am a Christian. I am conservative in my views. I’m a capitalist. I’m a proponent of individual responsibility and accountability. I’m in favor of small government getting out of my way so I can achieve whatever success might be possible for me.

In most areas of the country, I’m not at all what many down-the-line educators are, politically liberal. In the summer of 2011 I grew weary with all the Twitter streams, blog posts and articles at Huffington-Puffington (as Rush appropriately calls it) lamenting the politics of public education.

I’m not naive to politics and the impact they have on our lives. I’m thankful to live in America. I’m thankful for our quality of life, our way of life and our freedoms. Yes, I fear they’re eroding. Fast. But, still I’m thankful daily to live in America. And to have been born here, something beyond my control.

My life has been spent leading people in business. I know people. I believe in people.

My career has endured Presidents Nixon, Carter, Clinton and Obama. It’s also endured a Ford and two men named Bush. I respect the office, but often disagree with the actions of the men. Me and millions more. So what?

No American President has ever deterred me from doing work that meant something to me.

No American Congress has ever stopped me from going to work and doing my best to make a positive difference.

No American governmental agency has stopped me from trying my hardest to elevate my own knowledge, my own learning and my own ability to impact my family’s future.

Maybe it’s because my focus hasn’t been on American government, looking at them to answer the problems in my life. Maybe it’s because I’ve always felt I owed my family and myself to do my very best work. To give it everything I’ve got.

Maybe it’s because my wife and I have always focused on making the wisest decisions possible to put our family in a good position for today – and tomorrow. No, we’ve not always made the wisest choice, but still we try.

Perhaps that’s why my daughter took control of her goals for her boys. Maybe that’s why she and her husband decided to put their sons in a position to become bilingually fluent by the time they reach 4th grade. President Obama and the U.S. Congress didn’t decide that for them.

Like so many families in America – perhaps around the world – my daughter’s family is taking aim at helping the kids, their own. Because it’s about the kids.

Teachers and administrators can continue to fill the Internet with political drivel. They can take sides on every issue facing education. And they do.

Because for some (I said, some), it’s not about the kids. It’s about lazy work. It’s about not taking responsibility. It’s about not being held accountable. It’s not about the kids. It’s about winning an argument. It’s about a pension. It’s about health benefits. It’s about finding others to blame for everything. And it’s exhausting work leaving little energy left to focus on the kids.

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Looking Into The Future

The debate will always be about how we prepare our children for an uncertain future. We’ll never have a very clear picture of what the future will look like. The citizens of the future – today’s kids – will not all find success. Some will fail miserably. Others will be wildly successful. The future will contain more than its share of both, just as the past has.

Other than luck, which some refuse to acknowledge, there are some components of fundamental, foundational knowledge which can lead to success. Even so, success isn’t formulaic. For every person who achieves wild success one way, there are perhaps millions who go about it in similar fashion only to fall on their face in defeat. Success never has been a one-size-fit-all deal.

Standing on a hilltop a grandfather shows his grandson the farmland, representing a past life for America. Sure, there are farms and ranches today, but it’s no longer the way of life for most Americans. Before that, we hunted and gathered. After that, we moved to the city to work in factories.

Today, the farm is twice removed from being our economic engine. We are now in an age where knowledge and information rule the day. And our jobs. Along with our way of life.

The future of our children demands what of our present schools? Quite a lot actually. Much of it is still unknown and under development for the simple reason that the future is unfolding before us as a live event. As with every generation before, we’re having to make it up as we go.

There is, however, a skill that I believe is going to be required of our children (and our grandchildren) if they’re going to have the opportunities to achieve. Accomplishment, achievement, fulfillment, happiness – all those things we consider part of success – have always required this skill. History is a wonderful teacher. It shows us our future like nothing else.

No matter the technological advancements, this one skill will help our children grow up into responsible adults capable of tackling the challenges of their day. Listen to today’s show and see if you don’t agree.

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My fondness for Mat Kearney is public and on the record. I love his music.

About a week ago this music video was released. During the second viewing of it I had an epiphany. I am just a man in search of an epiphany.

It was simple, but profound.

Mat clearly has enormous talent. My world is made better by his work. He contributes to my quality of life. Sure, it’s music, but my life relies heavily on music. Daily. I listen to a lot of music. It alters my mood. It can elevate my spirits. It can provoke somber, thoughtful introspection. I could argue that I need it.

Here’s the epiphany – a question:

What talents do you have – and those you teach – that have yet to be released upon the world?

Are there things you’ve neglected to do? Are there dreams you never chased? Are there dreams in your students that you’re failing to see, or foster?

What if we didn’t have Mat Kearney’s music? Would the world survive? Of course, but my world wouldn’t be quite as nice. Is that life changing? Perhaps not in an enormous way, but mature people know that the little daily things constitute the quality of our lives.

I listen to Mat every week. I appreciate his talent with great regularity. I’d miss him if he were gone.

And there it is – like the proverbial lightning bolt out of a clear blue sky – the barometer of our contributions and work.

Would the world miss our work if we were gone? If we didn’t do whatever it is we do (or maybe whatever we hope to do), would anybody care?

We rob the world of our best contributions when we neglect our dreams. And when we neglect to foster the dreams of our children.

Mat Kearney was once a child. Was his dream to make music? Sure, somewhere along the way that became his dream.

Aren’t you glad he didn’t quit? Aren’t you glad he didn’t give up and become a businessman? What a waste that would have been. What robbery!

Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Then get busy doing the work that people would miss if you didn’t do it.

I became a dad on August 17th, 1980 when my son Ryan was born. It happened again in November the following year when his sister was born, Renae. That’s her pictured with her own family (Max, Renae, Cale, Jake McAlister). Rhonda and I were blessed with a complete family – a son and a daughter. For more than two decades that followed, we were a foursome.

Nothing has more profoundly affected me like the moment I realized I had a child. I had never experienced anything like it. Nothing came close. It was overwhelming. Both times it happened to me.

I suspect I’m more sentimental than most guys. Shoot, I may be more sentimental than many women. That’s why I’m sitting here in The Yellow Studio – not recording, but writing – on the day before Father’s Day 2011. Thanks for visiting the site. I hope you enjoy the post. Happy Father’s Day!

Sometimes I’m given to wonder.

I wonder about many things. Most often a single phrase channels my thoughts.

“What if…?”

What if I had made a different decision back in college?

What if I had fallen in love with somebody else?

What if I had been born in a different city…or country?

Life seems so random, perhaps serendipitous. But lest you get the wrong idea, my wondering always concludes with a strong sense of thanksgiving.

You fall in love with who you date. You marry who you fall in love with. I was blessed to date, fall in love with and marry a woman who changed my life forever. For the better. She got the “for worse” part.

Men can’t possibly understand the magic of child-birth, but we experience our own astonishment. Astonishment at what our wives endure. Astonishment that little creatures enter our lives, changing us forever.

But tomorrow is Father’s Day. Mother’s Day was last month. And because I’m a father, and now a grand father, my perspective is decidedly male.

In 1980 I was 23. We’d been married almost 3 years when our first-born entered the world. A son.

I had no idea how to be a father. Or how to influence my newly born son. I was both horrified and excited. We all begin as novices. The road to expertise is uphill, arduous and full of potholes. Wear a helmet.

My failings could have been cataclysmic if not for my wife, and my ability to learn. I didn’t learn fast, but I did learn. I was sufficiently motivated to be a good father, but I didn’t know how. Not really. I was too ambitious at work, striving hard to climb the ladder of success. I was too impatient, especially after an 80 hour work week. I was too insecure, never feeling quite comfortable in my role – mostly never fully knowing my place. At times I felt lost, confused and I constantly worried that I’d fail. Some are inspired by success. Me? I’m motivated by the fear of failure.

Again, my favorite question haunted me. “What if…?”

What if I’m scaring my children for life?

What if they grow up to hate me?

What if I’m being too hard?

What if I blow up my whole family because I’m an idiot?

I pushed forward. I messed up way more than I got it right. Two things redeemed my fatherhood. Enormous love drove me. Responsibility compelled me.

Faith in God was first.

Communication was second.

Foremost, my fatherhood was driven by training my children to be good people, devoted to something bigger than themselves. God may not be important to you, but this is my story and there’s no way to leave God out of my story. Whatever insecurities I may have had as a young father – or may still have – I never wondered about my place in the world, or the place of my family. Nor did I ever wonder why I was here. By faith I was sure serving God was the primary thing. Our home followed the Gospel of Christ.

That’s an important fact because it determined every decision. Our direction as a family was always guided by it.

Clear, straight communication has always been my hallmark. It wasn’t part of me. It was who I was – and still am.

Baby talk didn’t happen with me. From the get go I talked with my children as though they had the vocabulary of a grown up. I told them what was important. I read to them. Expressively. I questioned them. I had to learn to listen better. I worked on it.

Only the most selfish dads aren’t influenced by their children. Thankfully, I wasn’t so selfish. Stupid? Sure. Stressed? Plenty. But I wanted to be a good dad. I just had to learn how and without the help of my kids, it would have never happened. Everything’s hard until it’s easy. Fatherhood started off really hard.

I needed the influence of not just one child, but two. I needed the influence of both a son and a daughter. Trust me when I tell you – one would not have made me the man I am today. For me, it was a two child job!

My children have profoundly influenced me:

• to become a positive impact in the lives of others.
• to become more tolerant and patient with others.
• to laugh harder, and more often.
• to cry, out of sympathy for others and out of shame for my errors.
• to hear their concerns, passions, dreams, desires and problems.
• to realize I don’t have all the answers, and that’s okay.
• to love somebody else more than I love myself.
• to look for opportunities to sacrifice so they can achieve more.
• to encourage more and criticize less.
• to more carefully watch my tone.
• to see a different perspective.
• to know it’s okay to mess up.
• to be more forgiving.
• to be more encouraging.
• to feel safe in occasional foolishness, even though I try hard to lean toward wisdom.

I’ve suffered no ill influences in fatherhood other than those imposed on myself. My children haven’t put any baggage on me. I wish I could say the same, but I suspect every parent burdens their children with baggage. Even if we don’t mean to. It just happens because being a parent is hard. You do have to learn to be an adult, and a parent.

My son and my daughter now know. They have children of their own. Which makes me a grandfather. Three times over now.

Grown children don’t represent graduation from fatherhood. Instead, you enter the Master’s Program. Along come grandchildren and you’re suddenly thrust into a Doctorate Program working toward a Ph.D. Well, that’s if you take the work as seriously as you should.

Grandchildren have influenced me greatly. For instance, I know now that raising and training children is a job best suited for the young. Parents are like hi-tech running shoes. Or cross-trainers.

I’m far too old. I’m like a comfortable pair of old work boots, not the latest hi-tech Nikes. Children need the influence of old work boots. Old work boots certainly need the admiration and loving care of grandchildren. We all go home winners.

People look at my family and declare, “You’re so lucky.” My usual response is, “No, I’m blessed.” And I am.

But my wife and I also worked hard for this. We put in the years of hard labor to teach our children well. We made more wise decisions than foolish. We ate crow when we messed up and did our best to course correct. Like you, we went to the school of life and made certain to learn all we could. Year after year we tried to figure out how we could get better. We cheered, cajoled, encouraged and rebuked our kids.

We started off rather clueless about all this kid rearing stuff. Now, we’re old pros. I’m infinitely more qualified to be a grandfather than I was a father. I’m also more qualified to learn what lessons my grandchildren are most certainly going to teach me.

A new generation entered my life about 4 years ago. The most recent, our first granddaughter, a few months ago. I have experience and wisdom to pass on. They have questions. Lots of questions. So do I. Together maybe we can find suitable answers.

The kids in my life entered brand new. Innocent. Completely naive.

I may not have been innocent when my children were born, but I was brand new. Clueless. Naive. I’m thankful for the influence they’ve had in my life. I’m a far better man because of them.

Grandchildren are a whole different matter.

I’ve been on the job for over 30 years as a father. Three decades later, I’m an old pair of boots. My kids, and now my grandkids hopefully find me comfortable, trustworthy, prepared, willing to sacrifice for them and reliable to do the work necessary to help them achieve their dreams. None of that would have happened without the influence of my son and my daughter.

I know it took longer than it should have, but new boots have to broken in by enduring a lot of hard work.

His name is Max. He’s my oldest grandchild.

This is Jake, he’s Max’s little brother.

Let brotherly love continue.

My son Ryan with his wife, Joanna and the most recent addition, Kinsley.

Happy Father’s Day To All The Dads Who Do The Work Well.

May you learn from your kids to do the work better because your kids – all kids – deserve it!

Podcast: Download

What if questions are among the most powerful questions asked. Business people ask them. Inventors ask them. Researchers ask. Educators do, too.

When I was 23 or 24 I first read some information by Donald O. Clifton about finding what you’re good at and going with it. That was around 1980 – I only remember that because that’s the year my son, Ryan was born. Ryan is a co-conspirator here at Leaning Toward Wisdom. He’s a middle school teacher.

Then, around 1992, Mr. Clifton co-wrote a book entitled, Soar With Your Strengths. It was among the first books I’d been exposed to with this new idea of concentrating on our strengths as opposed to shoring up our weaknesses.

So began my own search for my strengths. Do you know yours? Do you ever wonder about your own life and ask, “What if…?”

The quest in my own life continues – and I’m now 54. About two weeks ago I found out about a new assessment produced by Marcus Buckingham‘s company, the StandOut Assessment. It costs $15, but I invested in it because I’m still quite interested in better understanding my strengths.

Today’s show contains some of my thoughts and ideas about helping our kids – all of our kids – discover their strengths and go with what they’re best at, and what they love most. There is no downside. No risk. Few things present such an opportunity. Most investments have a risk, but not this one. If we could help children find out what they’re gifted at and what they most love…well, if we could do that – everything would change. Everything would improve!

I have a few favors to ask. Please.

1. I hope you’ll join the LTW Think Tank. It’s without cost or obligation. We’re building a community of people willing to interact with us, help us and provide valuable feedback for us.

2. I’d also like to invite you to subscribe to the podcast and leave us some positive feedback over at iTunes.

3. Lastly, leave me a comment. I’m interested in what you think. We need as much brain power in this quest as we can get. We have to work and think together if we’re going to improve preparing our children for the future.

Thanks for listening.

Acclaimed New York Times columnist David Brooks explores new insights into human nature and the forces that shape our choices and actions. His new book, The Social Animal, was published in March, 2011. This presentation was made to the Royal Society for the encouragement of Arts, Manufactures and Commerce (RSA).

I confess that I have not yet read the book, but I found this presentation worthwhile. Exploration into how our minds work, and how we learn is always an interesting pursuit to me. I wanted to share it with you.

Have you read the book? What are your thoughts?

Podcast: Download

Dumb behavior. Stupid actions. Even smart people sometimes make dumb choices. Dumb choices aren’t created equally because consequences vary.

Here are 3 common reasons why people sometimes make dumb choices.

1. People forget what matters most.

We all serve something. Or somebody. Maybe we serve a code of conduct. Or perhaps we serve our principles. Something! There is something you hold dear that you think should not be sold in exchange for something worth less.

We can compartmentalize our work – educating the young people of America - and consider the dumb choices we might make on the job.

What matters most? Is it making sure every student understands? Is it something else? The debate rages because too many in education can’t even agree on what matters most! Everybody says it’s all about the students, but some choices prove that’s untrue.

In the past week two stories have led newscasts here in Dallas. Both involve teachers who made dumb choices.

The first involves a high school teacher who sits at his desk while the students in his classroom gather around, cell phone cameras in hand, and watch as two students fist fight. Repeated instances are captured by cell phone video and broadcast on the nightly news. The teacher makes no attempt to stem the violence in his classroom. A dumb choice? Of course.

Just yesterday another Dallas-area high school teacher was accused of engaging in sexual behavior with five of her students. The evidence appears compelling. She’s a married mother of three! Did she forget what mattered most? Did she ever really understand what mattered most?

Sometimes we forget our purpose. We forget why we’re here, doing the work. We forget what really matters and we make dumb choices!

2. People think short-term.

It’s hard to separate this from the first item of doing what matters most. Sometimes we’re near-sighted, failing to consider how our choice may affect us beyond the immediate gratification we get. We buy a new car without considering that our insurance rates will go higher because we’re driving a more expensive car. Our emotions compel us to lust after what we want – and we usually will stop at nothing until we get it. Later on (sometimes much later and sometimes right away) we might realize we made a mistake because we didn’t consider the longer range view of the decision. Notch another dumb choice into our gun belt.

Many of us have lived with little deprivation and so we expect to have whatever we want NOW. The discipline of deprivation is underrated. It’s sometimes wise to deprive ourself. It’s often wise to restrain our emotions and desires.

The student who clearly lacks proficiency or understanding sits in our class. But, we’re compelled by the culture of our school to send him along his way. We advance him to the next grade level because bottle-necking the system, creating more trouble for everybody and a host of other consequences create the need for a short-term solution. So what if longer term problems result? Like those credit cards we can so easily plop on a sales counter, it’s just too easy to buy today, pay later. Schools do it all the time, too. With students. Dumb choices!

America is now the most debt ridden society in history. We’ve learned how to mortgage our future so we can have what we want today. It’s not surprising that schools, entire districts (even states) can fall into the same trap.

Foolish choices are made, but we’ll let somebody else worry about the problems later. Today, our money is on the dumb choice because sometimes it’s just what we want – and sometimes it’s just easier.

3. People don’t stop to clearly think.

In the rush of the moment we all make dumb choices. If we’d slow down and soberly consider a thing – we might make better choices.

We rob ourselves of the benefits of slowing things down – even hitting the PAUSE button – so we can more soberly consider our decision. What we think about matters. If we stop only to rationalize why we ought to do what we want, then we’re not learning much wisdom. But, if we stop and think about what our priorities are and what they should be, what longer term outcome would be most beneficial, then we’d probably lean more toward wisdom.

When we think about the bad things that might result from a quick choice, then we’re more inclined to stop and reconsider our other choices. Every choice has a pay off. Good or bad. Consequences aren’t often considered when dumb choices rule.

Use this question to your advantage: “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

Ask it often. A few years ago it dawned on me – most people don’t ask that question, but the more serious problem is that people don’t answer it. It’s only worthwhile if you ask it, then answer it.

If I make a foolish choice, but I don’t see it for what it is – “what’s the worst that can happen?”

Could this choice cost me my self-respect and a good name? Maybe it’ll cost me money. Maybe it’ll cost me time. Maybe it’ll cost me my job. Or my freedom. Perhaps it could cost me my family. Could it cost me my life? Answer the question. Dig deep and keep answering it. The ultimate cost is hidden in there somewhere. You have to find it if you want to avoid making dumb choices.

If we’re going to pass along our learning, our knowledge and our wisdom then we’ve got to be busy exercising ourselves in those things. We simply must lean toward wisdom and show the children how they can lean in that direction, too.

Resilience is defined as the ability to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions. We often use the phrase, “bounce back.” It’s also a moisture resistant paint by Sherwin Williams.

Bouncing back from adversity is easier for some than others. Let me give you three things you can incorporate into your own resilience plan. What? You don’t have a resilience plan? Well, you should. Let me help you get it started. Use the following three steps to formulate your own.

First, realize that everyone experiences tough times. Resilience is tougher when we begin to feel sorry for ourselves. We may feel that nobody knows or understands our problems. Loneliness can overcome us, making it harder to bounce back.

Approach your problems with the realistic belief that your problems aren’t so unique. Others have had similar (if not worse) problems. Others have bounced back. You can, too.

Grow your confidence by embracing the belief (because it’s true) that others have successfully faced your exact problem. Believe in your ability to bounce back. Your resilience will be foiled if you embrace a self-centered focus. Feeling sorry for yourself will not only destroy your coping ability, but it will also repel people who might otherwise help you through a tough time. You have to maintain an awareness of others and understand that everybody has challenges. The world won’t stop to pay special attention to you!

It’s urgent that you believe in your ability to overcome or endure. Successful people know that those are the only options!

Second, focus on a solution – not the problem. Knowing the problem is necessary, but it doesn’t help to obsess about the problem. Rarely is the solution found by a constant examination of the problem. We must understand the obstacle so we can clearly see the scope of the problem. However, we need to quickly move on toward possible solutions. What can we do about it? Can we fix this problem? If not, what can we do to endure the problem? What’s our best option to move past this difficulty?

Third, take action – sooner than later. Thinking about a problem or situation has its place, but there comes a time when we must act. Don’t delay. That doesn’t mean we need to act hastily, but don’t let fear create panic or procrastination. Do something about the situation. Sometimes faster action, even if it’s not the very best action, is better than delaying. Movement toward a solution often gives us the opportunity to refine our response and improve our ability to move past the difficulty.

Some problems aren’t fixable. Some realities are worse than others. The diagnosis of a terminal illness is a horrible thing – but, we have a choice in how we’ll handle news of the worst kind. What can we do? Well, we could hole up in our room, stay in bed and make up our mind we’re going to feel sorry for ourselves. We could investigate our best medical options and decide to pursue the ones we felt would serve us best. We could also decide that we’re going to do our best to make the quality of our life as good as possible – and to have the best impact possible on those we love. We have lots of choices, even when it seems our future is already determined.

Some tough situations can’t be changed. They are what they are.

Sometimes we have to get through them – endure. Sometimes we can take action that will remedy them. Either way, we have the choice to cave into adversity or we can bounce back!

It seems bouncing back is always the better option – for our life and the lives of those we love.

Has the school year ended on a low note for you?

Many teachers around the country have lost their jobs. Others have been reassigned. Still others decided they’d retire and walk away, even before they were ready.

Difficult situations demand renewed strength and toughness. Thankfully, schools all over the country are weeks away from the summer vacation season. Think of it like an off-season for a professional athlete. It’s time for a bit of rest and recovery, but it’s also time to figure things out, start training and getting yourself ready for success for the next school year.

In the coming weeks I’ll be writing and talking about some things you can do to put yourself in the best position possible to make a meaningful difference in your life – and most importantly, in the lives of the students you serve!

Do more.
Take action.
Don’t let all your actions take place only in your head – or your speech.
Put verbs in your sentences — and in your life!
Then, help somebody else put more verbs in their own life.

Howard Gardner speaks or writes and I listen. Many years ago about creativity, he said, “It’s a serious business for serious people. Creative work requires, I think, being a certain kind of person, which includes being able to work on things for years, a drive not likely to come to people who paid five hundred dollars for a weekend under a tent.”

People continue to market weekend retreats or workshops on creativity. And all sorts of other things, too. Things that require greater effort, time, concentration and focus than a single weekend will afford.

Gardner and others who have long been leaning toward wisdom understand how delusional ideas can block our progress. That’s why Gardner calls it, “nonsense.” (Here’s a podcast interview Gardner did in 2007 about his book, Five Minds For The Future)

The world is full of nonsense. It permeates every pursuit. Business. Sports. Religion. Investing. Entertainment. Writing. Public Speaking. Music. Education.

Mr. Gardner’s assertion about creativity applies to many other endeavors. For example, stand up comedy is serious business that demands serious work. How else would a person be able to endure the difficult work of standing up in front of people, risking ridicule and rejection and laboring for years with little pay?

I’ve talked in the past about the time the Beatles spent in Hamburg refining their music with countless hours of playing. Those years required serious work done by serious musicians. Without that time they may have never arrived in America.

It’s nonsense to believe that people get lucky. The quote has been attributed to Arnold Palmer and Gary Player. I don’t know who said it, but it’s true. “The more I practice, the luckier I get.”

Success doesn’t usually happen overnight. The secrets aren’t found in a book, a workshop or a seminar. A few hundred bucks or even a few thousand bucks won’t give you the easy button you’re looking for. There is no standard formula that being hidden from you.

The missing ingredients to improvement – the ways to become remarkable – are summarized in three steps. They’re simple to understand, but quite difficult to implement. Only the very determined will embrace them, commit to perform them and see them all the way through to the Promised Land of Success. Most will fail. That’s why it’s remarkable. It’s extraordinary. Unique. Outstanding.

1. Rid yourself of false assumptions and the nonsense that cripple you.

2. Open your mind to creativity, innovation and the art of what’s possible.

3. Separate yourself from average through sustained concentration, drive and tenacity.

You and I have some beliefs – sometimes deep-seated beliefs – that are wrong. We think we’re right, otherwise we wouldn’t believe these ideas. We make assumptions based on faulty perceptions. We think we see it clearly – for what it is. But sometimes we’re wrong.

Education has as many false notions as any other industry. Some are more widespread than others. None are held by everybody. That’s where the conflict enters and often erupts. One person believes one thing to be true, while somebody else believes an opposing position is true. One or both can be wrong.

Danny Hill, co-author of The Power of ICU (Dr. Jayson Nave is the other author) begins his presentation addressing the nonsense that cripples schools – and the nonsense that teachers often embrace. He illustrates it with Plato’s allegory of the cave. He’s quick to point out the idiocy of giving students extra credit for erasing the teacher’s board for a week. Or bringing a canned vegetable to a school food drive, and lots of other nonsense that schools regularly practice.

None of us are immune to the power of misperception, false assumptions or idiotic practices that we’ve just not stopped to think through. We see ghosts and believe they’re real. Our own false notions get in the way of what’s real. We like to craft our own reality. Sometimes it’s crippling.

Give yourself some quiet time to recall instances where you came to understand your own delusion about something. Maybe it was a false assumption about a person. You thought they were one type of person based on an initial interaction with them. You sized them up and concluded they were conceited. Perhaps months later you were able to spend more time with them. Suddenly you realized you had them pegged all wrong. They’re quiet, reserved and quite fun to be around. At first blush, you mistook their quiet demeanor as stand-offish and conceited. Thankfully, your delusion was busted because of an opportunity to really get to know them.

What if that opportunity had never happened? How long do you suppose you’d think they were conceited? Probably from now on. You’d have no compelling reason to question your first impression, even though it would be completely unfair and wrong. Most of us lack the self-examination and determination (and the presence of mind) to find out if we’ve got it right or not. We simply assume we’re right and act based on our assumptions.

What if your assumptions about your work, the students, the administration or parents are wrong? How might that negatively affect your work?

There are people in education fully convinced that standardized testing is the best way to gauge a student’s progress. There are others equally convinced it’s among the poorest methods.

There are people in education who are convinced their profession is looked down on by the entire world. Everywhere they look they see critics. They’re convinced they’re victims, undeserving of any criticism.

There are people in education who believe small group interaction in the classroom is necessary for effective learning. If classrooms don’t have such interaction, they’re fully convinced the students will never learn or be properly engaged.

There are people in education who believe the role of education is to prepare as many kids for college as possible. Only the slowest intellects are exempt.

There are people in education who believe administrators are the enemy. You’ll never convince them otherwise. They may also believe the Union is their best friend.

On and on it goes. I could mention just a single word or idea and it’s highly likely most people have an opinion or belief about it. We’re all convinced our point of view is the correct one. Read them and I guarantee your mind will leap to a strong feeling about every single one of them. Good or bad. You’ll have an opinion and of course, you’ll have the right opinion. Or will you?

Grades. Assignments. Suspensions. Curriculum. Textbooks. Technology. Principals. Assistant Principals. Guidance Counselors. SAT. IQ. Literacy. Math. Science. Art. Music. Athletics. Discipline. Dress codes. Parents. Superintendents. School District. Summer School. Snow Days. Professional Development. Co-Workers.

It’s impossible to rid yourself of all nonsense. Part of being human is drawing incorrect conclusions based on your own biases. We all have them. The objective is to rid ourselves of the nonsense that cripples our efforts. Particularly, the nonsense that cripples our industry and our efforts to teach and train young people. Why give place to anything that can hinder your ability to make a meaningful difference in the life of a student? Why harbor any notion that would impede you in being the most remarkable educator possible? Why surrender your best to a false notion?

Challenge yourself to come to terms with self-limiting beliefs, possible false assumptions and the things that negatively affect your life. Here are some questions that might help:

a. Does this belief strengthen me or weaken me?
b. How does this assumption make me feel? Does it feed my insecurity? Does it swell me with pride? Does it foster feelings that make me more effective?
c. Is this assumption a crutch that supports some need I have?
d. What if I’m wrong?
e. Can I embrace “the other side” for a single day to see how it might affect my thinking?
f. How do I let other people influence me to embrace notions that might not even be my own?

There are many other questions that can help us challenge ourselves. I’ll leave today’s lesson there…with the idea that we can only find our way toward remarkability by challenging ourselves. Push yourself. Go forward. Climb above the noise of defeat. Refuse to accept average. Rebel against mediocrity.

I’m here to help you. Together we can grow, lean toward wisdom more and get busy being remarkable in serving the students in our lives. They deserve our best. We do, too.

The Center For Cowboy Ethics And Leadership is an Austin, Texas based organization headed up by Jim Owens. It just goes to show you another creative way to reach kids with the right messages.

If people like Jim can find ways to reach kids on the subject of ethics, then surely we can figure out better, more innovative ways to show kids the power of their own creativity, passion and purpose.

Teachers complain about school systems. Dialogue and debate are the stuff of our country. It’s all well and fine. But still the work must be done. Whether or not the work is great or not is entirely up to those of us who do the work.

Lockheed Martin called it “a Skunk Work.” In many business circles it’s come to mean an endeavor taken to do great work in spite of it all. In spite of the bureaucracy. In spite of everything. Find a way to do great work no matter the adversity.

Sure, there are obstacles. If not, it’d be easy and everybody would do it. But we know it’s not easy…and not just anybody can do it. That’s why it’s up to you to step up and lead. In a world full of dim wits, shine!

Kay Redfield Jamison wrote a terrific book that was published in 2004, Exuberance: The Passion For Life. She’s a John Hopkins Professor of Psychiatry so she knows what she’s talking about. She dives into the science, physiology and other aspects of the great feeling of exuberance. She confesses that most in her profession focus on the darker, more dreadful feelings of human experience. That alone makes the book noteworthy. But it is a quite serious look at what should be among our most coveted emotions.

Who among us doesn’t want to be thrilled and filled with passion? Maybe it’s being in love. Maybe it’s the kind of thrill skydivers crave. Or it could be that fast heart beat that comes during a tense scene in Saw III. There are many different variations of passion, excitement and exuberance. Some are mere passing moments while others, like being in love, are hopefully longer lived. And they’re all intensely personal. Our exuberance is all our own.

Does passion, excitement and exuberance wane with age? I only ask because kids sure seem to have more of it than adults. Maybe life just has a way of beating the passion out of the most excitable among us. Maybe we taint kids with our own cynicism and gloominess.

Adults have to be told, exhorted and encouraged to find passion.

Passion is something others exhort us to find, but they don’t show us how. We’re told that where passions and profits meet is The Promised Land of Capitalism. I can see that, but what I can’t necessarily see is an easy way to find that intersection.

In The Element, Sir Ken Robinson talks about the intersection between natural aptitude and passion…and how that changes everything! I believe him, but again – it’s often a difficult intersection to find. I don’t suspect it’s a busy enough intersection. Certainly not for adults.

It’s been suggested that we ought to consider these ideas to help us find our passion:

1. What can we do and lose all track of time?

2. What would we most enjoy doing without regard for pay?

3. What can we talk about for hours on end?

4. What do you think is your true purpose in life?

5. Write your obituary.

6. What would you try if you knew you couldn’t fail?

Those are all wonderful suggestions – and exercises, but they all sort of remind me of that adage about battle plans being great things…until we meet the enemy. So it may go with these exercises. We can write insightful stuff perhaps, but then reality kicks in and we’ve got to deal with all the internal and external influences that can ruin our plans. Mainly, we have to battle the fear that sets in when we “grow up.”

“I love to play video games,” says a 20-something. “I could play video games around the clock. Can I turn that into a career?”

Sure. There are professional gamers out there. I can’t say I’m an expert in that field so I’m not the guy to ask for advice in how to best accomplish that. I don’t know what they make, how big the opportunity is or the average lifespan of a professional gamer. The practical side of me would probably advise against it and be accused of squelching someone’s passion. In the background you can already hear Queen sing, “Another one bites the dust.”

“I love to sleep. Anything?”

Nope. Not a clue. I do know some people with clinical depression who stay in bed a lot, but it’s not something I’d encourage. Besides, I don’t think that fits the bill for exuberance anyway.

“Eating. I love to eat.”

I read recently of the New York food critic who loved to eat, and so he became a restaurant critic in New York. The problem with that passion is limitation (and weight gain). It’s like NFL quarterbacks. There aren’t many of them so the opportunities are quite limited I suspect. But, you could give it a go as an independent food critic – maybe start your own blog and see how it goes. That might excite you.

More often than not I hear adults say, “The thing I’m most passionate about won’t earn me any money.” Naturally, that’s the commentary of people who are looking to “monetize” their passion. I used to never hear that word – monetize. However, today it’s all the rage. I wonder what impact that’s going to have on future generations who grow up never knowing a world without cell phones or the Internet.

“We have to find a way to monetize all this traffic we get to our website.”

“How can I monetize my blog?”

“We’re monetizing by selling advertising.”

It’s possible to forego all that rubbish and just do the heavy lifting of guarding the minds of our kids. We can help guard their dreams and train them to protect themselves. I suspect its far more delightful work if we’ll embrace the challenge.

Children know all about excitement, passion, enthusiasm and exuberance. We teach them to temper it and join the rest of us as Citizens of Misery.

Happily, I’m seeing something in my children – now grown (my oldest is 30) – that I didn’t really see in my generation. I saw it when they were very small. Thankfully, I still see it in them today. And I’m hopeful that our classrooms are still seeing it, even at a higher level. All the way into high school. And college.

It’s experience. Passion, excitement and exuberance stem from actions and experiences.

My son Ryan is a middle-school teacher who is 15 months older than his sister, Renae. If Renae got presents Ryan would jump around as though they were for him. He couldn’t contain himself from helping her rip the wrapping off the box. His excitement for Renae was visible to everybody. This kid had tons of joy and passion. He reeked of it. Renae wasn’t wired quite like him (not nearly as excitable), but she displayed her own enthusiasm. It was terrific to see then. It’s even more wonderful to see it today, knowing that adulthood hasn’t beaten it out of them. I’m still guarding their dreams and now I’m guarding the dreams of my grandchildren.

The education community loves the word ENGAGE. Simply put, it means “we have the full attention of the students.” They’re into it. Whatever “it” is.

The education community also loves the word IMMERSION. My daughter has plans to enroll her two sons into a Spanish immersion program in elementary school. She’s a Texas certified Spanish teacher. No, it’s not her first language. The program is rare, even here in Texas. The program involves speaking only Spanish to the kids for a period of time. When my daughter was in college she took a trip to Mexico for the same reason – to immerse herself in the culture and the language. It helped her learn. She believes it will help Max and Jake learn, too.

My children have been driven more by passion than money. I think that’s a good thing. I think that may help them find and keep more exuberance than I did – until I gave myself to serve education. I’m excited, passionate and exuberant in ways I’ve not felt for a very long time. Why? The experience. The engagement. The immersion. The connectivity with people from all over the world who have interest in helping kids learn, grow and develop knowledge and wisdom. For me, exuberance was rekindled – created – when I decided to serve a community with a lifetime of learning. Sharing the experiences. This is the stuff of exuberance.

Once I was an artist. A cartoonist. But I didn’t know any cartoonists. Who makes a living drawing cartoons? I knew the cartoons had creators. I just didn’t know who they were. Not personally.

Once I was a writer. But I didn’t know any writers. None of my friends’ parents wrote for a living. I knew the books, magazines and newspapers had writers. I just didn’t know any of them. Not personally.

At 53 I now know I can pursue passion, excitement and exuberance with drawing or writing if I want. The sad reality is NOW it needs to have practical application because I’m an older guy. I have a wife of 33 years. Bills to pay. Things to do. Places to go. People to see. It all costs money.

But why should children put a price tag on exuberance? Why should we even let them? My generation put a price tag on everything. Perhaps because our parents thought they were helping us. I’ve no doubt that’s true. That’s why I was never encouraged to draw or write. “You can’t make a living doing that.” Sure enough. They were right. Because I believed them.

The kids in your classroom will one day bear the responsibility to earn a living. That’s the practical reality of life. Why don’t we let them embrace and chase their dreams to do things outside the realm of what we consider practical? They’re kids. They don’t yet have bills to pay. Or families to support. Do we honestly think we’re helping them by squelching their passion?

Do you suppose that the passion, excitement and exuberance we foster in kids today might one day manifest itself into creativity they could turn into a livelihood?

You know that’s possible. You’ve heard Sir Ken and others talk of it. The world is full of examples of it. I know now that lots of people earn a living writing. And drawing. I just didn’t think it was possible for me – not because of any lack of skill or passion – but because “we don’t know anybody who makes a living that way.”

There they sit each day in your classroom. Future artists. Musicians. Writers. Scientists. Engineers. Bloggers. Podcasters.

Show them the possibilities. Build up their dreams. Encourage them in the experiences. Teach them what took me a lifetime to learn – only because I forgot. Help them learn to embrace the feelings of exuberance that comes quite naturally to children. Their lives will be fuller, happier and more creative if you’ll guard their dreams until they’re mature enough to guard them on their own.

Techniques. Tactics. Strategies. Technologies. Blah. Blah. Blah.

It’s people that matter!

Facilities and tools are all wonderful, but those aren’t the things that will make an education memorable. Teachers do.

Think about WHAT you remember and you’ll likely remember WHO, too. Especially if they were people who had a positive impact on your education. I remember two names. Two remarkable teachers who made a positive impression on me. I’ll tell you about it in today’s video. Why? Because the tagline says it all, “…to teach, inspire and encourage higher human performance in education.” Maybe today’s show will do a smattering of all three. That’s my hope.

Thanks for watching! Before you go, check out the new Facebook page and hit that LIKE button (please).

UPDATE: I reached out to the current principal of Southern Hills Elementary School on the same day I recorded this, April 21, 2011. She promptly got back to me and let me know Mrs. Holman’s first name was Dixie. Sadly, she passed away about 5 years ago. But her legacy lives on in my life – and I’m sure the lives of her other students.

The podcast is now listed in the Apple iTunes Store. We’re going to produce at least one podcast a week. Some episodes will be interviews.

If you’re already confused because you don’t know what a podcast is…don’t panic. Dr. Thomas Lamar is a podcasting chiropractor (SpinalColumnRadio.com) who has done the best job on the planet of explaining what a podcast is. Click here and all your curiosities will be answered by the good doctor. By the way, I’m not a chiropractor. In fact, I’ve visited a chiropractor twice in my life. But that’s not why I mention Dr. Lamar. I mention him because he’s is a terrific podcaster and a fine example of the power of podcasting. And because he does a great job of explaining podcasting. I’d go to him in a heartbeat simply based on his high quality podcasting.

Leaning Toward Wisdom is multi-faceted enterprise designed to help public education. One important component of our work is aggregating ideas, tips, techniques and wisdom. It’s not simply about us spewing forth our own ideas and wisdom (well, that’s part of it), but it’s about providing a conduit to provide collective wisdom to more people. There are plenty of bright people doing some smart things. We want to tell their stories, but first – we have to collect the stories. Not all stories will be told via the podcast, but that’s our preferred method.

Aggregation & Community: The LTW Think Tank

1. Educators (and others) are invited to join The Leaning Toward Wisdom Think Tank. Now don’t be bashful. Or afraid. The Think Tank is simply a unique, exclusive compilation of people involved in education. That includes teachers, administrators, guidance counselors, librarians, educational consultants, authors, speakers and others who work directly in or for education.

This Think Tank is a group of people devoted to the world of education. We’ll interact with the LTW Think Tank so we can benefit from the collective wisdom of the group. The benefit comes from sharing.

No, that doesn’t mean you’ll be required to do anything more than complete the opt-in form. Some of you will simply want to be quiet and just listen. That’s fine. Others will want to be very talkative. Even better. We want this group to be a foundation for all our work. The goal is to make every project as helpful and as meaningful as possible. We need your help to do that. The LTW Think Tank is the vehicle.

At the bottom of the Think Tank sign up form you’ll find a question about being on the podcast. If you’re willing to CONSIDER that (it’s not an iron clad promise), then just say so and we’ll know we can reach out to you for the show.

2. We use social media. You should, too. We’ve done considerable social media coaching for business types for a few years. Is there one right way to “do” social media? No, not really. Our philosophy and purpose in social media is not to build big numbers. We want to build relationships with people we find valuable in our space. Every crowd has a different focus. Not everybody will prove valuable to YOU.

For example, there are people in my social media circles who I’ve connected with because we share a love of hockey! Yeah, I know…what a small group that must be, right? Well, if you’re not interested in hockey you’d have no interest in connecting with these people. Over time some of these connections grow more meaningful because we learn things about each other outside the scope of hockey. It’s a mistake to refuse to follow people because they don’t maintain a single-minded focus. I don’t disconnect from one of my hockey “buddies” simply because they start talking about something else. Many people do. Big mistake. You don’t get to learn and relate better with others if you approach social media with such a narrow-minded view. We don’t do that in the offline world. Don’t do it in the online world.

Social media is the very best way to make new friends. Interesting friends. We use it to find interesting people doing interesting things.

Social media is the very best way to discover interesting conversations. We use it to search out conversations about things that interest us.

Social media is not about pushing out your marketing message, “Buy my stuff.” It’s about listening, giving and helping. It’s also about connecting. It works just like face-to-face conversation.

We’re using social media to find people in education who are doing cool things. We encourage you to use Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin and other platforms to get involved. All those icons in the upper right hand corner are the ways you can find us in social media. We hope you’ll reach out and connect.

Podcasting is a major component of our social media because it’s powerful to hear people tell their own story and because audio is portable. We can listen in the car, in the gym or sitting at home. Just think of podcasting as portable recorded conversation.

3. YOU are our biggest resource. Building a community of people who have a common interest – EDUCATION – is one of our objectives.

One major complaint we’ve heard from all teachers is the inability to connect with other teachers and find out, “What are you doing that’s cool? What are you doing that works?” We’re here to help make that happen, and not just for teachers, but others with an interest in education. That means we need YOU.

Sure, you can hug that back wall and never utter a sound. Or, you can sit right up front and hold up your hand every now and then. We don’t want you to be the irritating kid whose hand is always raised, but we do want you to contribute. We sure don’t want you being the sleeping kid at the back of the class.

Email us.

Tweet us.

Comment on the blog.

Find us on Facebook.

In short, talk back to us (but in a good way).

Here’s the bottom line, which is why we’ve placed this at the bottom of this post:

We’re Looking For Great Stories Of Success.

• Do you have a tip, technique or strategy that is working in the classroom?

• Do you have a story of success that deserves a wider audience?

• Do you have ideas you think other educators would find helpful?

• Do you know somebody who would be interesting to interview on our podcast?

• Are you a first year teacher, a first year principal, a first year assistant principal…or some other first year role in education? We’d like to share your first year impressions?

That should give you an idea of the things we’re looking for. In short, we’re looking for things that interest YOU.

Don’t be afraid. Don’t be bashful. It’s time to get started. Click that big orange JOIN button to the right.

I look forward to getting to know you.

P.S. If you’re not in education, but you’re interested in what we’re doing, GREAT! I don’t want you to be left out. Just insert your email address in that slot to the right and you can join in.