Entries Tagged 'Death' ↓

Sidney Poitier is now 81. Hard to believe. He has great grandchildren, which is what prompted him to write a book in the form of letters. The book is entitled, “Life Beyond Measure, Letters to My Great-Granddaughter.” The book is Poitier’s way of passing on his wisdom to the upcoming generation because he realizes, “The time between us is short.”

Aging does that to people. Forces us to think of the time we have remaining. It makes us think of the youngsters in our family who will grow well into adulthood without us.

I suspect younger people don’t understand - nor should they - the need older people may have to pass on the wisdom they’ve acquired. Reflection is a by-product of aging. The time between us and those who are substantially younger is very short.

Time isn’t so precious when you’re young. The older you grow the more valuable it becomes. And I suspect there is an age, perhaps brought about by health conditions, at which time stands still - and you’re just ready to call it a life.

Death isn’t the only barometer of the time between us. Accomplishments and many other things can also gauge the time between us. Chief among such may be wisdom.

Randy Pausch, famous performer of “The Last Lecture,” died today. He was 47. We all knew, including him, that death was inevitable - and coming sooner than later. The time between him and his children becoming adults was simply too great for him. Go here for Randy’s diary.

Sadness enters the room for millions of people who viewed his last lecture on YouTube, read his subsequent book and saw him on Oprah. He seemed like such a good guy.

Death respects no one. Good or bad. We all die. Death closes the gap of the time between all of us. Hold a good thought for his family and so many other families who suffer the losses created by death.

Equally, if not more important, consider the time between you and those you love…between you and what you hope to accomplish. Get on with it. Time is short. The time between us is extremely short, meaning the time we have together isn’t long. Soon our loved ones will be out of reach.

The time between who we are and who we hope to be is short, too. Who we hope to become might escape us. Unrealized potential often results when time runs out. Few of us fully realize our dreams, ambitions or potential.

Grab it while you can. Do it while you can. Say it while you can.

“Into The Wild” is the soundtrack of my life at the moment. It has been for a few months. I’m an Eddie Vedder fan. I haven’t seen the movie, but I do know the story. The movie was written and directed by Sean Penn. It’s the true story of top student and athlete Christopher McCandless who forfeits his possessions, gives his life savings of $24,000 to charity and hitchhikes to Alaska to live in the wilderness. I don’t want to embrace minimalism to that degree. Matt Foley can live in a van down by the river if he wants, but I’ll stay in my comfortable suburban house.

So, no - I am NOT Bigfoot, but I do have big footprints. I’m working to shrink them because they are much larger than I’d like.

Yesterday I wrote about my need, desire and ambition to reduce my footprint. Today, I decided it was time to take inventory of what I wanted to keep, those things I don’t mind being part of my footprint now or when I’m gone. Here’s my list:

• CD’s and DVD’s - I do have too many, but good music is worthwhile. I’m keeping them all. I can’t say that for the video DVD’s. Seinfeld, Simpsons, Band of Brothers and others are likely worthwhile. Others are not. I do not have a significant video selection. It’s just not that interesting to me (compared to music or written words).

• Books - I have about 3 bookcases of books that are reference books and other timeless treasures. I have a vast collection of other books, but I’m going to dump almost all of them. My best estimate is that I’m getting rid of about 90% of all my books!

• Clothes - Because I have to have them. I’m getting rid of about 40% or more of them. This includes all clothing like shoes, t-shirts, old underwear and lots of socks. All my clothes will fit in my closet and my one drawer.

• Papers, writing, notepads, journals - I’m keeping only a few. Too many ideas and commentary written down that do not need to fall into enemy hands. Within 45 days 98% of them will be gone. This is an enormous project that will likely require a small dumpster.

• Keepsakes - I’ll keep high school year books, letter from my wife when we were dating and photographs. I’m sure there are a few token things I’ll keep that don’t come to mind right now. I’ll know them when I see them. I’ll limit all this to just a few modestly sized boxes. Everything else goes!

• Art - I’m no collector, but I do have a few things I’m rather fond of. I’ve got some prints by Mr. Ballard Street (Jerry Van Amerongen) that I’d love to have hanging somewhere, but it’s not practical so they remain stored. I pull them out and look at them (and laugh) every now and then. I won’t toss any of this stuff. It’s among the stuff I’ve got that I’m most proud. It doesn’t take up much room either. I just have to make sure it all remains in a climate controlled environment.

• Toys and gadgets - This collection demands shrinkage. Among the “keepers” is a fairly new guitar, computers, some video stuff and hi-fi gear. A few small digital devices (cameras, iPods, etc.) will stay. But everything (that I can think of) will go. If it’s not used regularly, it goes. My hi-fi stuff is also stuff I like, but much of it has to go because I have no place to set it up (if I can get a good price for it; I refuse to discount it to a ridiculous amount because I’m not desperate for the money) . Headphones are now my way of life (pathetic I know, but headphones are a fantastic way to really listen - and I did invest in a small, portable headphone amp recently).

People ask, “Why? Why are you doing this?”

Answer: Why not?

I’m doing it for two basic reasons:

1. I don’t want to leave clutter behind. I want to purge my life of clutter so nobody else has to do it after I’m gone. Which prompts the question, “Why are you preoccupied with your death? Do you know something?” No, I haven’t been diagnosed with anything. I just know that I’m going to die sooner or later and I don’t want to leave my crap behind for something else to deal with. I’d rather get rid of it myself and not have it on somebody else’s to-do-list.

Think about all the crap in your life. Do you want people going through every scrap of paper you leave behind? Then you’d better do something with it yourself. I’m acting now while I can. And I hope I don’t die before I finish the process.

2. I don’t have any personal space to speak of so my life is crammed. For a variety of reasons that are insignificant I don’t have a spot for stuff. Professionally, I don’t want to have a bunch of personal stuff at work. So that’s out. At home, my corner of the bedroom is ridiculously cluttered and a daily source of anxiety. The reality is, I have too much stuff and too little space. Too much worthless stuff and not enough worthwhile space. Too much stuff that is meaningless crammed into too little space that is quite meaningful.

Both are valid reasons. Both are wise reasons to do what I’m doing. Both are compelling reasons for becoming a minimalist.

- When I’m finished my closet and my drawer will contain 100% of my clothing needs, including shoes.
- When I’m finished four bookcases (probably less) will contain all my books.
- When I’m finished two laptop computers, one outboard hard drive, one printer/scanner, a few iPods, one digital camera, one digital voice recorder and a few keyboards/wireless mice will serve all technology needs.
- When I’m finished one hi-fi set up with speakers as near-field monitors will suffice (and that likely won’t last long because I have NO idea where I’ll even set it up). iPods and headphones will likely be my only source of playback. This makes me very sad.
- When I’m finished words written in my own hand will be limited to journals or notebooks that will fit in one hand. And I’ll know exactly what’s in them. I will never retain words unless I’m confident in my knowledge that they’ll be read after I’m dead.
- When I’m finished all my possessions - except keepsakes - will be items that touch my hands at least once a year (reference books may be an exception).
- When I’m finished all my possessions - ALL MY POSSESSIONS (except my car and joint possessions with my wife, like our furniture and home furnishings) - will fit into a single 10 x 10 room (if such a room existed).
- When I’m finished all my DISCARDS will likely fill a single large dumpster.
- When I’m finished I’ll have converted my entire library of books, worth about $12,000 into one hundred dollars cash.
- When I’m finished I’ll have given away (to charity) enough clothes for a small Mexican village.
- When I’m finished I’ll have destroyed over 3 million words written in my own hand.
- When I’m finished I’ll have sold (via eBay, Craigslist, or some other online outlet) over $10,000 worth of stuff for at least $300 cash!
- When I’m finished I will publicly post the following notice or credo in a place of prominence in my house: “I am a MINIMALIST. I will not invest in anything that adds to the space that is my life unless I purge something that now occupies that space.” I’ll obey that credo. Or reword it, then obey it.
- When I’m finished I’ll begin to calculate the money I’m saving every time I avoid spending money that I may have spent before my conversion to minimalism. I suspect I’ll save no less than $4000 annually, hopefully more.
- When I’m finished I’ll cry. I’ll cry at the loss of some things that have been important to me. I’ll cry at the waste. I’ll cry out of relief that I’m finished. But, I’ll feel better (eventually).
- When I’m finished my influence will hopefully be much broader than the footprints I’m working so hard to eliminate. But time will tell.

It’s amazing how broad and deep our footprints are. Trying to shrink them, much less eliminate a great portion of them, is ridiculously difficult. I’m determined though. Within 45-60 days my footprint will be shrunken to match my head.

NOTE: Now if I can only shrink these posts down to no more than 2 paragraphs and 5 sentences! I’ll work on that.

Al Gore has everybody talking about their carbon footprint. I get it. And I’ll do my part. I am doing my part. But I’m less concerned with my carbon footprint as I am my overall footprint - all the stuff that is my life. I’m on a mission to reduce and eliminate as much of my footprint as possible. My objective is to manage my footprint, the residue that will remain once I die. For now, my focus is on books.

I’m discovering what a waste of time and money books really are. My love affair with books is likely coming to a long overdue end. Too much clutter coupled with the reality of the poor investment are causing me to re-evaluate things. On Friday I managed to turn a $600 investment in books into $9.50 cash at Half Price Books. Two full boxes worth of hardback books - mostly on business. I’ve got at least 20 more boxes that likely represent an investment of over $6000. I figure I can bring in a fast $95 if I sell them to Half Price Books.

Read all the business books you want. I have. And you’ll still come away having failed to learn the business model that Half Price Books operates on. Pay 1% of the list price for your inventory. Sell that inventory for 50% of the list price. It’s a recipe for extraordinary profits. The fact is, used books are worthless! Most new books are, too.

I’ve long lamented the time invested in reading a worthless book. By the time you realize the entire book is worthless, you’ve already lost the time. I’m slowly - my love affair with books goes back as far as I can remember - realizing that I’ve been betrayed by books. And reading in general. Yes, today I’m jaded. And feeling not particularly grand.

And none of the books I sold provided anything worthwhile to my life. As I snoop through the other boxes of books I’ve got I realize, most are an utter waste of time, space, paper, glue, marketing and everything else associated with them.

Eccl. 12:12 “And further, by these, my son, be admonished: of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh.”

I’m a very slow learner when it comes to these things. But I’ve reached a conclusion based on my assumption that books are a poor investment - I’m going to cull like there’s no tomorrow. And I’m going to likely re-engineer my book buying habits.

First, getting rid of books is only hard when you feel an attachment. I know. I’ve long felt an attachment to books. I’ve never found it easy to get rid of a book, even a bad book. There’s something about books - just having them, looking at them, knowing that they’re there - that I love. But I’m over it. Life necessitates that I cut way back on my love affair because I have no space for the books that have been too much a part of my life for too long. So, they must go. And I won’t cry (much).

Second, getting rid of books frees up space, mentally and physically. My physical space is littered with books. I now find greater joy (I suppose) in nothingness than I do with shelves full of books. I’m not sure that’s true because I’ve not had much nothingness in my life. But I’m getting there. Personal space is a premium these days so I’m getting rid of many things, including books.

Lastly, there’s all this talk of carbon footprints, but the real concern I have is my material footprint. Books have long been a major part of my personal footprint. When I die (it’s not yet scheduled, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen much sooner than I may currently consider), my footprint needs to be much, much smaller than it is now. All the stuff that is MY stuff needs to be gone - before I am. So, I’m embarking on a few important tasks that I’ll talk about later. For now, just know that my thousands of books will be reduced to no more than some dozens. And it’s highly likely those will dwindle over time, along with everything else I own.

Reducing my footprint is important these days. I hope to be able to contain my footprint in no more than 100 square feet - soon. It’s going to be a chore, but I’m converting to a minimalist lifestyle as much as possible.

Mad Max 3: Beyond Thunderdome. Ah, what a movie! Actually, I enjoyed it. Call me a connoisseur.

This week I was reminded of the line that seemed to epitomize this flick. “Dyin’ time’s here.” Thoughts of death sometimes sweep over me. This week I’ve spent an extraordinary amount of time working on the things I want to happen when I die. Morbid? Not really. Practical. Cathartic even. Extremely worthwhile and valuable. Even for now. Pondering one’s death is a grand way to get to what’s important in life. It makes you put everything in a different (hopefully, better) perspective.

I enjoyed another line in the movie. As the combatants enter the Thunderdome, they’re introduced and welcomed by the announcer who says, “I know you won’t break the rules because there aren’t any.”

When it comes to thinking of your death - there are no rules. Take the thoughts of your own death anywhere you’d like. My personal journey (which really began a few years ago) started with making some notes of what I wanted my funeral service to be like. It expanded from there.

Today, I downloaded all my notes onto a thumb drive, along with some letters I wrote. I suspect I’ll have to update it every now and then. At least I hope I’ll be able to do that. I honestly don’t want this to be my final version. I’d like to have a few more decades to work on it.

But, you never know when dying time is here!

I don’t always use my head wisely. That’s what brings about the pounding, ducking headaches. It began - the pounding, that is - yesterday afternoon. Not a good Monday. It wasn’t even noon yesterday and regret had already set in. And set up. Fully. In concrete.

People who claim stress won’t kill you - they’re idiots. It will. Last night I was watching the national news on NBC. Tim Russert’s doctor talked about how hectic Tim’s schedule was, and how much stress he was under - but he pontificated that because Tim loved his work, it wasn’t a negative stress. And in no way did it contribute to his sudden death. Well, I don’t know how he can be so sure. How could any doctor theorize such a thing? I have no idea the stress that Tim Russert was under. I’m only slightly aware of the stress I’m under.

When I was younger I didn’t think there was much to stress. Now that I’m older, I know better. Stress will kill you. But I’m burying the lead. Regrets cause even more stress. Like I don’t have enough without creating my own. But that’s how it goes with regrets. Regrets are stress that you create. Regrets are all your own. Nobody else is responsible for your regrets. That makes them even more stressful.

It’s only Tuesday - Tuesday morning at that - and already I’ve got regrets. Plural. As in many.

Regret comes in a variety of flavors. There is the regret of not doing something, or not saying something. There is the regret of doing something, or saying something. My regrets run the full gambit. There are things I’ve done that I regret. I’ve said things I regret. I’ve neglected things - and I regret it. There are even things I’ve not said, and later regretted it. That last one is hard because I probably tend to say too much - rather than too little.

For a few weeks now I’ve not been myself. I suspect my recent regrets have something to do with not feeling very well, but that’s no excuse! It’s why I began talking about stress though. I suspect stress is the culprit of my not feeling so terrific - for the past few weeks or so. Stress leads to not using your head wisely. Not using your head wisely leads to more stress. All the while the regrets are piling ever higher. Now, I’m like a hamster stuck on a wheel. Going nowhere fast.

Some days you eat the bear. Some days the bear eats you. For weeks now, the bear has a clear advantage over me. The bear has had me in a number of submission holds. I’ve been close to tapping out a time or two, but decided against it. I don’t regret continuing the fight. I do regret saying things I shouldn’t have said. Doing things I shouldn’t have done. And as always, the neglect is regrettable. It’s only Tuesday.

Thankfully, I’ve got a big portion of the week to make up for it. Or to spiral down even further. It’s up to me to determine which it’ll be. My hand is on the stick and I’m pulling up as hard as possible.

Launches are exciting. Almost all launches are. Educational. Social. Financial. Every day untold numbers launch. Well, some just jump. Not all launches end well. Sometimes the concrete hits our forehead with a ferocity to show us our head is not as hard as we first thought.

The photograph below appeared in Life magazine. I don’t know the year, but I remember seeing it when I was a child. It moved me. It still does. The young lady has been called Julia Hanson. Some said it wasn’t a simple suicide. There were a number of witnesses to Julia’s launch. It was tragic. Fatal. I’m sure the journey was fearful. The ending was predictable.

Suicide isn’t a launch worth taking. Ever. The most tragic launches are those from which there is no recovery. Suicide fits the bill perfectly. You don’t recover. So the decision should always be, “Do not launch!”

Most ships that launch do so successfully. Most enjoy years of reliable service and numerous voyages.

The picture above is taken of the White Star liner Celtic at Queen’s Island, Belfast, on April 4th, 1901. On delivery in July 1901, Celtic was the largest ship in the world at 20,904 tons. She would soon be surpassed by another Belfast launch - of the Titanic.

Harland & Wolff were the shipbuilders commissioned by the White Star Line to build Titanic. Thomas Andrews was the chief designer of Titanic. He died aboard the great ship.

This is the drawing office of Harland & Wolff in 1912. The plans for Titanic were prepared here. The plans were approved by White Star in 1908, the year building began. The engineering that went into the Titanic is still a marvel a full century later. The launch succeeded, but the voyage was an historical failure.

Neil Armstrong took one giant leap for mankind while taking one small step as a man. Imagine being the first human to ever walk on another planet. Mr. Armstrong did it in 1969 on Apollo 11. The rocket successfully launched, journeyed to the moon and returned home safely. It was an engineering feat that may still be unrivaled.

All endeavors begin with a launch. A first step. An initial idea. Some action taken to begin. That launch, however inauspicious or flamboyant, is not the journey. Quite often the launch has little to do with the journey. Success is not guaranteed, nor necessarily hampered by a lackluster launch. Apple and Microsoft were both launched with less than spectacular fanfare. Titanic was launched with magnificent applause and world-wide attention. So was the Hindenburg.

Some endings are even more spectacular than their beginnings. Some journeys do not end well.

The goal of every launch - assuming the action or enterprise is designed to serve the well-being of those so engaged - is to propel us on a good journey with an even better ending. The person who dreams to starting a new company hopes to create a company that will provide positive qualities they don’t feel are available otherwise. The hope of making millions and being one’s own boss (or whatever else drives people to leave jobs and chase a rainbow of their own) drive people to launch forth. Not all launches go so well. For every Apple and Microsoft are millions, perhaps billions of smaller scale Titanics and Hindenburgs.

Launches are exciting. The thought and planning that go into a launch can be exhilerating. That’s why some entrepreneurs are considered to be serial entrepreneurs. Like serial killers, they can’t quit. They need the rush of the launch. Not much else drives them. They’re less interested in building and growth. For them, the launch is the journey - but they’re the odd man out. Most view the launch as a means to an end.

Life and all the activities of our life are simultaneously part launch, part journey and part end. Birth, life and death. It’s a 3-part cycle of almost everything. Birth is exciting. Launches are almost always emotionally invigorating. We dream of how grand the journey will be. We wave goodbye to those on board Titanic wishing we could be them. It all seems terrific, hopeful and prestine at the beginning.

Life is the journey. It can be equally thrilling, especially if the destinations along the way excite us. If not, there’s always a port further along that draws us. The future always beckons us to hope. Tomorrow will surely be better than today.

Seldom do we consider the destination except on short journeys that make up life. The entrepreneur working out of his garage dreams of the day when the company headquarters will occupy a 10 story building. He doesn’t think of how the company will look in 30 years though. For him, the culmination of the journey may end in an IPO where his millions afford him the opportunity to walk away. Or start again.

The destination is the real rub. I love engineering the launch as much as the next guy, maybe more. I love to plan, make notes, discuss and edit a good launch. Perhaps I love that more than the launch itself. That could explain why I have engineered more launches than have never happened. I’m not so good at the journey part. That’s the part that often alludes me. I work constantly on the daily journey - enjoying it more. Looking at the view from here, knowing it won’t be quite like this ever again. That’s the hard part for me. But keeping the end in mind is ever before me. Death and whatever you believe follow are the destination.

What will matter then? In the scripture a question is asked by James, “What is your life?” He compares life like a vapor that appears, then is gone. Life is short. If you believe the Bible (I do), then following life is death, then the judgment.

Destinations can be glorious. Icy, blue, clear and inviting. Unfortunately, they’re often nicer to look at and ponder than to experience. The picture is beautiful, but I don’t want to swim for my life in that water.

Titanic’s final destination wasn’t planned. Or intentional. But the big-headed notion of human power and engineering being infallible proved too much. We’re not as skilled as often think we are. Like the tower of Babel, men came to realize their own fragility. The icebergs that fell the Titanic can happen to any of us. So we should plan, launch and journey with great care. More attention should be given to the planning of our destination.

The launch and journey are not vain. Without them, there is no ending. No destination is ever achieved without a successful - even if it’s lackluster - launch and journey. Few launches and journeys go as planned, and without incident. Even fewer destinations will be reached without full and complete intention.

Saturday evening I spotted a baby owl on the ground at the foot of a tree on the other side of our driveway. At first, I had little idea what kind of creature this was. Eventually I’d see the mother of this baby critter up in a branch with very watchful eyes. She was obviously an owl of some sort, which meant the fuzzy little ball on the ground was also an owl of some sort.

He wasn’t able to fly much, except to flap his wings and propel himself forward a bit. Worried about cats in the area I was hopeful he’d be able to return to his perch, or wherever he’d fallen from. It didn’t seem likely though.

About an hour passed - with me checking on him periodically - and he ended up back in a tree about 3 feet up in the crook of a tree. He appeared to be climbing and I felt relief that he’d be safe. Mom flew from her prior perch in another tree to the tree he was now climbing. I went to bed feeling all would be well with him.

Thoughts of a parent’s care and watchful eye ran through my mind most of the rest of the evening. She was concerned for her offspring. I’ve never encountered an owl, but I strongly suspected that any movement toward her youngster would likely result in my head being bloodied. I dared not approach him. She knew what was best for him. I had no idea. I barely had a clue about my own offspring so I knew I was no match for the wisdom of an owl.

Sunday afternoon I noticed him on the ground again. He appeared no different than the day before. Again, there was mom perched above watching. Staring at me. At him. Surveying the possible threat. As he hopped and flapped toward another tree I got the impression that he knew what she wanted him to do. I left him alone. Later, I came back and saw him no where. I assumed she had taken care of him somehow. I wasn’t worried.

I couldn’t help but think of her and him - and wondering how a bird falls from his perch, and how likely it is that something bad, like a neighborhood cat, will happen to them. I’ve attempted to rescue a number of fallen baby birds in my life. I confess I’ve never succeeded. They have all died. And I’ve always been sad. For days afterward. And thought of all the fallen sparrows and other birds that God has seen. I’ve wondered how vast the count may be of fallen birds since creation. Odd, I know. But who can tell why a mind thinks what it does. Mine especially.

Yesterday, Memorial Day Monday, I saw the baby owl back on the ground in the same general area. His movements were not as pronounced as before. I figured he was being overly cautious. Mom was again in the same perch - on the exact same branch, in the same location as before. She didn’t take her eyes off of me. It was daylight and not nearing dusk, as it had been on the two prior days. Knowing owls are night creatures I figured vision might be tough for both mom and baby. Perhaps that explained his lack of movement. He was simply standing there looking toward me with his eyes closed. Mom’s eyes weren’t visible, but her head was clearly aimed directly at me. I didn’t approach the baby and left to hit the gym for a workout.

About 90 minutes later I returned in the early afternoon. The baby owl had made it across the driveway to my house and hopped onto the front porch, which is ground level. Others at my house noticed him and had attempted to give him some water. He simply stood there refusing. We got a cardboard box, carefully placed him inside and I got a clean eye dropper attempting to drop some water around his beak to see if he’d take any. He didn’t. But he seems okay.

Clueless about what to do with him and worried that this was happening on a national holiday, we Googled for somebody to call. I called a local zoo who gave me a phone number of a wildlife rescue organization. No answer due to the holiday. We then found the name of a man in the area who rescues birds. I called him - it was his home number. He was very nice and asked me to look at the bird’s chest. “Are there horizontal bars?” he asked. I looked and sure enough, there were. “He’s a baby screech owl. Keep him in the box. Put a towel int he box so he can grab it, otherwise he’ll slide around. Keep him in a warm, dark place and in the morning take him to the Southlake Animal Hospital. They’re near you, much closer than I am, and they rescue birds, too. Don’t be surprised if you check on him in the morning and he’s dead. He may be sick.”

I did exactly as I was instructed and hoped we’d all make it through the night. I carried the box out to the back deck under the covered patio. I turned the ceiling fan on very low - it was about 95 degrees. I closed the three of the four flaps on the box to keep it dark.

I kept watching him because I was now worried about his chances. I knew my odds of success with fallen birds was 100% - failure. Something told me this poor screech owl had fallen into the wrong hands - mine.

Within 15 minutes he was gone. He simply laid over and was gone. Upright one second. Over on his side the next. Sadness swept over me as though I had lost a longtime pet. I never wanted him for my own. I never wanted him in a box or a cage. I wanted him back in the tree with his watchful mother. From the time I noticed him on my porch until now, I had not seen her. I felt badly for her, and her baby. It was an awful feeling of helplessness. And sadness. Even grief.

For the better part of 3 days this baby had been on the ground and managed to avoid cats and other dangers. But in my hands, death had come. No, I don’t feel like I killed him, but I was sad that it had to happen on my watch. I let him down. I let his mother down. I couldn’t stop it. No phone calls or other advice would enable me to prevent his demise.

We buried him in our backyard, wrapped in the towel that occupied the box with his last moments, the one he was laying on when he died. Life is precious. Even baby screech owls deserve better. I don’t know how old he was. I don’t even know how old adult screech owls live. I read that they mate for life and will only seek another mate if their mate is lost. Pairs often revisit past nests. They don’t build nests. They use tree cavities and are open to using nesting boxes.

Today, I purchased a screech owl house from Coveside Bird House. It cost me about fifty bucks. It’s supposed to be mounted under a branch about 10-30 feet off the ground, facing north. I don’t know if I’ll ever see another screech owl, but I’m hoping to attract the baby screech owl’s mom and dad. And I hope any future offspring they may have will be much safer inside this owl house than in the cavity of a tree where they’re likely to fall.

My telephone adviser told me, “They don’t like to go to ground.” They know the risk of leaving the home too soon. My children are grown and married, but I still worry about them. It’s a different worry than when they were young. But I know well the dangers of leaving the nest or home too soon. I wanted my youngsters prepared for the adult world. Thankfully, they’ve made it successfully so far. I wish this little owl had been given a better chance to grow up.

The fragility of life consumed me for a few hours after he died. Thoughts of his mother and her vigilant watch stayed with me, until now. I know as humans we tend to confer our emotions and thoughts onto creatures. Animals don’t have the emotions of people. I suppose not. I hope not. For their sake. Whether she’s sad today or not, I don’t know. I only know I’m still sad enough for both of us. And hopeful that her next home will be my owl house. My small way of telling her how sorry I am that I wasn’t able to save her baby.

This is what her baby might have looked like as an adult.

The picture above is taken from a site that will sell you CONFIDENTIAL information on Internet marketing for only $67. I wonder if that’s the owner’s daughter. Poor girl. Guess dad can’t afford good orthodontics. Tell them Buck Naked sent you.

Internet marketers are an intriguing lot. I don’t have personal knowledge of many of them. In fact, I can honestly say I have NO knowledge - real firsthand knowledge - of any of them. I know some names that are presumed to be gurus of Internet marketing. These are the people who write those really long sales letters - either as emails, or as web pages. I wrote a bit about that some days ago.

Today, I got an email from Early To Rise. I admit a fondness for Early To Rise, but I’m not a fan of their email campaigns.

Warning: When I printed out this email it was 7 (seven) pages long. This is cut and pasted “as is” except for font/styling. I’ll gladly forward anybody the real McCoy if they want it.

…………………………..

Hey,

Quick note… if you’ve ever even considered starting an online business, check out the story below.
Something very unusual happened yesterday - and it’s all 100% true and accurate.

- Charlie.

PS: Please do it before 5:00PM this afternoon.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON, APRIL 20, 2008, 3:17PM
ORLANDO, FLORIDA
PROFITS IN PARADISE FINAL INSIDER REPORT (ETR)

Dear Early to Rise Friend,

“Someone call security and have that clown thrown out!”

That was my first thought when I saw the scraggly Florida beach bum sneaking into our “Profits in Paradise” conference room.

But the joke was on me when I realized a moment later that he was our next guest speaker!

And I felt even dumber by the end of his presentation, because by then he and his partner had shown our audience…

How they’d built a $100,000 per month business in under 12 weeks…

What happened when it was all stolen away by a crooked accountant - and then, starting with nothing, they did it again (except faster and 3 times more profitably)…

The exact techniques they used to get over 10,000 orders for $350,000+ in sales in two weeks - and then another $1.6 million over the next 6 months.

The presentation was a two-hour “cliff notes” version of their upcoming $10,000 Mastermind Program.

And judging from the mob scene at the end of their talk, it was a powerful and huge hit with our attendees.

They’ve Unlocked the Door to The Internet’s Hottest Niche

Turns out the fellow I thought was a beach bum was actually a very cool, very kind and down-to-earth guy named Brock Felt. If you ever wanted an “Ordinary Joe Hits It Rich” story, Brock Felt could star as the leading man…

Not long ago Brock was fixing cars and selling phones door-to-door. His future wasn’t looking very bright and so he decided to make a change. Did it work? Well, a few months ago, he sold just ONE of his current businesses for something in the neighborhood of EIGHT figures.

Together Brock and his partner, Buck Rizvi, both regular, ordinary guys, have discovered and refined an easy, reproducible formula for making a very nice chunk of change in one of the Internet’s hottest niches.

Best part is that the more folks get involved in this niche – even marketers – the bigger and faster it grows.

I’ve Got To Tell You Something Pretty Shocking…

There are some very savvy and street-smart marketers at our “Profits in Paradise” event, and I noticed THEIR ears perking up at the stuff Brock and Buck were discussing.

Believe me, you don’t see that happen every day at these events. There was something very special happening here.

In their presentation, Buck and Brock showed our attendees how to reach two objectives:

1) Build what’s almost literally an automatic, unattended cash machine…

2) Set up the business for your “liquidation event” (when you sell it for a huge pay day).

One of their protégés, working part-time, just started a business that in his second month is already bringing in $13K per month.

Another two guys started using their techniques and get this: they hit $627,000 in sales PER MONTH within NINE MONTHS of starting up. Geez Louise, that sounds pretty good to me, don’t you think???

B&B just kept giving value, and value, and more value in their talk, handing out…

The 12 hottest niches within the niche (sometimes the “embarrassing one” yields the best opportunities)…

The 4 P’s of Profitability (Oddly, PAIN is at the top of the list)…

The 4 steps to online success (with real examples you can “steal” from them).

That’s just a small sample of SOME OF THE great stuff Buck and Brock spilled in nearly two intensive hours of training.

Once you learn Buck and Brock’s tips, techniques, and insider secrets you’ll see just how easy it is to set up virtually automatic streams of cash that you can keep for years and years, or sell for a big (maybe even 8 figures!) payday.

So Many Income-Boosting Ideas to Choose From

Hi, Charlie Byrne here, writing from beautiful Orlando, Florida. It’s been an exciting weekend with our stellar line-up of experts covering wealth-building from a numerous different “off-the-radar” angles.

Buck and Brock were incredibly exciting - and that’s just 10% of what we’ve seen this weekend!

It’s too bad you’re not here, but the good news is that we’ve gotten it all down on professionally-recorded DVDs.

This weekend - during the event weekend only - we’re offering them to you at a never-to-be repeated value.

When you bring these recordings into your home, you’ll “be in the company” of a very special group of experts.

First, they are all at the very top of their respective fields… whether it’s real estate, internet business-building, or under-the-radar financial and investing techniques.

And second, they’ve all made a lot of money using the exact strategies they are going to teach you in their presentations.

Their “secrets” are actually proven methods based on years of trial and error and testing in the real world.

Here’s just a taste of what you’ll be receiving on these DVDs…

You’ll learn how to use Marko Rubel’s little-known investment approach to generate over $1 million a year…

Rick Pendergraft will teach you to secure huge returns on stocks without a lot of money or experience…

You’ll discover Jeff Adams’s strategy for setting up automated online systems to find big-time deals – you just cash the checks…

Alex Mandossian will tell you about two different easy-to-learn and very profitable marketing systems…

You’ll learn Scott Martineau’s method for cutting costs and increasing profits by “re-making” existing products…

Andrew Gordon will coach you on how to use the financial markets safely (with low risk and high potential gains) to ensure a very comfortable retirement…

Robert Cox will show you how to apply the secrets of billionaires to achieve your life’s dreams…

You’ll get Jim Fleck’s breakthrough strategies for buying real estate and selling for a handsome profit in just hours…

Dave Lindahl will explain how he generates a massive passive income with an often-overlooked profit-producing technique…

Howie Jacobson will reveal the secrets behind Google Ad Words - the fastest and easiest way to make money online…

And much MUCH more.

And of course as I mentioned above, Buck Rizvi and Brock Felt will show you how to tap into a multi-billion dollar market to create a business you can sell for millions… or pass on to your children.

When you learn these secrets you’ll be well positioned to take your financial future into your own hands.

Are you ready to see your wealth-building potential soar?

Good! Because we have an enviable offer for you today…

Right Now Is the Ideal Time for Action

Now the folks in attendance at “Profits in Paradise” paid a good amount of money to get here. Most of them will likely be spending $1,000 by the time they add in travel and hotel expenses.

But they made a wise investment because it’s going to be worth every cent.

They’ll be able to rub shoulders with all the superstars here, pick up the intangibles that can make the difference between success and huge success, network with all the experts, and make contacts that can last a lifetime - and a fortune as well.

So I’ll lay it out right on the line and be completely open and honest. You probably won’t get ALL the benefits of being here in person when you view these presentations from our wealth-building experts at home.

But I’m absolutely, positively 110 percent stone-cold convinced of this…

If you’ll put in the time and make the effort to use the secrets that you’ll get on these “Wealth-Building Video Encyclopedias” there’s no reason why you can’t wake up a few months from today to find that your bank account has grown by $1,000… $5,000… even $10,000 while you were sleeping.

Dozens of Ultra Profit-Boosters for a
Fraction of Their True Value

If you order before we return to our offices on Tuesday April 22, you’ll get the entire set of DVDs for just $199. That’s no typo, the cost is just $199.

I’m talking about up to 20 hours of powerful wealth-building techniques that could make you a fortune… for a fraction of their true value.

The catch? This offer expires at 5PM Monday April 21. After then, that’s it. The price goes up and will NEVER be lower than right now.

You’ll learn how to secure your financial future through your own online business, real estate, the financial markets, and more. These lessons will hold true, especially in this time of economic uncertainty.

So you’d be crazy not to jump all over this $199 offer right now.

LAST CHANCE
ORDER NOW AND SAVE BEFORE PRICE JUMPS ON MONDAY

Regards,
Charlie Byrne
ETR Associate Publisher

PS: These strategies have been proven to work over and over again, generating one high-powered profit stream after another. The speakers at this conference do it every day, every week, every month, every year. There are none better at it, anywhere. End of story.

PS: After their talk as I left for lunch, I saw Buck and Brock pulling away in a beautiful new black convertible Corvette, just heading out for a Sunday afternoon cruise in sunny Florida… probably headed for the golf course or beach.

They are living the good life for sure. You can find out how they got there with this program.

LAST CHANCE
ORDER NOW AND SAVE BEFORE PRICE JUMPS ON MONDAY

…………………………..

Whew!

Check out Brock Felt’s website. It’s an awesome display of his marketing prowess.

I’m working on my own Internet program. I won’t sell supplements though.

I’ll be Buck Naked. Does it really matter what I’ll sell? My goal will be to generate sales of $500,000 in 3 weeks. I don’t have to generate cash. Just sales. Then I’ll market a series of “how to” programs. I’ll sell those for $199 each and I’ll generate cash for those.

It’ll be a thing of beauty. Naked beauty. But (oh, I’m sorry, “butt) you’d better act soon.

Trust me. I’m Buck Naked.

I miss Howard K. Smith. I miss a number of old newsmen. They were vastly better than today’s newsmen, in my judgment. I think of Mr. Smith often, mainly because of something I read about him when I was a college student.

He declared that he had his children write one clear sentence every day. I remember thinking how novel and brilliant that was. Of course, back when I read that I had dreams and aspirations of joining the likes of Faulkner, Sinclair and Irving. I still rather like the notion of a dad having his children write one clear sentence before retiring each day.

Perhaps you don’t remember Howard K. Smith - or maybe you’re too young to have known of him. Here’s an AP story that appeared on February 18, 2002 announcing the death of the 87 year old newsman who was among the classiest of all-time.

__________________________

Howard K. Smith, whose career as a newscaster ranged from World War II as one of “Murrow’s Boys” at CBS to roles as co-anchor and analyst for ABC, is dead at age 87.

Smith died of pneumonia aggravated by congestive heart failure on Friday evening at his home in Bethesda, Md., his son, Jack, said Monday.

Although out of the public eye for nearly a quarter-century, Smith was a broadcasting pioneer and, from television’s infancy, a presence on the air.

Along the way, he made at least two appearances of lasting impact even beyond the journalistic.

In 1960, he served as the moderator of the first Kennedy-Nixon presidential debate, a seminal TV event generally thought to have played a decisive role in Kennedy’s election.

Smith also is memorialized in Robert Altman’s 1975 political satire “Nashville,” in which Smith portrayed himself as a broadcast commentator covering the presidential campaign of the never-glimpsed candidate Hal Phillip Walker.

Howard Kingsbury Smith was born May 12, 1914, in Ferriday, La., and, after attending Tulane University, began his years as a foreign correspondent working for United Press in Copenhagen and Berlin.

In 1941 he joined CBS News as a member of the team assembled by the legendary Edward R. Murrow during World War II, and in 1946 succeeded Murrow as CBS’s London correspondent. He covered Europe and the Middle East for CBS until 1957, when he came to Washington, D.C., as a correspondent and commentator on the network’s nightly TV newscast.

With the civil rights struggle heating up, Smith narrated a 1961 documentary, “Who Speaks for Birmingham?,” in which he quoted Edmund Burke’s observation that “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” When the quote was deemed “editorializing” by his bosses and cut from the program, Smith resigned from the network.

Joining ABC News soon after, Smith served as a correspondent and anchored several series, including the respected mid-1960s documentary program “Scope,” which focused on the Vietnam War.

In 1969 he became co-anchor with Frank Reynolds of “The ABC Evening News,” then two years later was joined at the ABC anchor desk by his former CBS colleague Harry Reasoner.

In l975 Smith gave up his co-anchor role but continued as a political commentator. Four years later, after denouncing a flashy four-anchor evening-news format that uncomfortably married Reynolds, Peter Jennings, Barbara Walters and Max Robinson, Smith retired.

His several books include the 1942 bestseller “Last Train from Berlin,” which describes Hitler’s rise to power and his own experiences as the last American correspondent to leave Berlin after war was declared, and his 1966 memoir, “Events Leading Up to My Death: The Life of a Twentieth-Century Reporter.”

His numerous awards include a Peabody and an Emmy.

Survivors include his wife of 60 years, Benedicte Traberg Smith, and one daughter and one son and three grandchildren.

__________________________

Still don’t remember him? Maybe this will help. In 1996 he appeared on The Charlie Rose Show.

Then there’s this newcast from May 15, 1973.

Lastly, there’s this commentary from June 5, 1968 about guns
You’ll notice right away that this is LIVE television.