Entries from August 2006 ↓

You come home from school and your mom asks, “What did you learn today?”

By the time you reached junior high (it’s called middle school today in most places) the question stopped. Probably because the answer was the same, “Stuff.” That meant we didn’t want to talk about it. Or, it meant we really didn’t learn anything except that we hated school.

It may be worthwhile to ask it of ourselves now that we’re all grown up. Have you ever sat down and tried to write down the things you learned in a single day? I wonder if the list would be lengthy or if we’d have a hard time coming up with a single item.

I plan to sit down and write out my own list once in awhile - just to see if I’m growing dumber or smarter. Too bad you can’t write down all the stuff you forgot.

Apple’s iPod/iTunes is among the top list of technology advancements of the past 25 years. Cell phones, DVD players, CD’s, flat panel televisions, personal computers and wireless technologies all made the list of top executives of the consumer electronics industry. It’s hard to argue with the list.

Prowling around iTunes the other day I began to snoop through the podcasts. I don’t really subscribe to any podcast, but I do download an occasional episode. The list of podcasts seem to grow daily. I downloaded a 2004 lecture by Bob Sutton, a professor at Stanford who has written some of my favorite business books. I saw podcasts from Harvard, Stanford and Wharton. I saw podcasts from Jack Welch, GE’s ex-hero-of-Wall Street. I saw podcasts on career counseling, speaking a foreign language and website design. All free!

Young and old alike have access to so much more free information than ever before. The challenge is digging out what is most helpful. But it’s all there.

Want help finding a job? There are countless podcasts with great information.
Want to learn Japanese? Take your pick of a few different podcasts.
Want to hear the CEO’s of some of the most cutting edge companies? Take your pick.

Sure, there’s plenty of entertainment, too. And that, my friends, is where I suspect most people spend their time. I hear kids talk of listening to the latest stand up comic. A profanity laced comedy routine finds time into the brain of a person who might be better served actually learning something - but alas, it’s not nearly as much fun.

Hours are spent text messaging when a 12 minute podcast can begin your journey into a foreign language. Seems a waste, doesn’t it? It is.

When you consider the numerous resources now available to all of us, the shame is we don’t take the time to take advantage of enough of it. In fact, there’s not enough time to take advantage of all of it. I’ve got hours of podcasts on my iTunes that I’ve not yet listened to. Will I ever listen to it all? No, but it’s there when I want it. And those things that capture my immediate attention do get a listen. Rarely do I give one a listen that I don’t stop and think, “How much of this stuff is out there that I’m missing?” The answer: TONS.

Most podcasts are free. Unfortunately, our time isn’t. Too many people don’t discriminate enough when it comes to how they spend their time. They’ll waste it with anything and everything, other than those things that might help propel their lives forward. We’re all guilty from time to time.

Podcasts are an incredible free resource. Downloaded to our iPods they turn down time into profitable time. They turn our exercise time into education time. Like books and good mentors they’re able to give us an education by investing our most valuable resource - time.

Our lives are determined by our choices and our behavior. Circumstances, environment, opportunities, skills, experience and talents are all consequential.

The Harvard graduate has much greater opportunities than the person who graduates from the local commuter college. The person born into a wealthy family has a much greater network of potential mentors than the inner city child. The kid who is blessed with genetic code that makes him the fastest kid on the football or track field has greater athletic opportunities than the slowest kid.

Where do choices and behaviors affect those things? Perhaps a better question is, where do they not affect those things?

There are kids who attend Harvard, but never graduate. Whether like Bill Gates, they leave to pursue other dreams, or whether they fail out - they make choices. Harvard may not be a viable choice for all of us. But that doesn’t mean we’re robbed of all choices in higher education. We can choose other colleges. Attending any college is a choice. Finding a way to afford college is a choice and behavior. Granted, many kids make serious sacrifices while others squander the gift of more wealthy parents. It’s still is about choices and behavior.

Besides, life isn’t about comparison. Life is about being our best. It’s about being a positive influence in the the small space we occupy. It’s about success in the terms we define. Your success has no bearing on mine. Mine has no bearing on yours. We may live completely different, but yet both find success, happiness and fulfillment.

Listen, we all know that life isn’t fair. We understand that some people have better circumstances. Life is more difficult for some of us than others. That’s not an excuse for failure. Nor is it a reason to fail. It is a reason to choose more carefully, sacrifice more devotedly and behave in ways to reach our goal.

No matter the circumstance of your life, you have the power of choice and behavior. Beyond that, there’s not much you can control. So why not focus on those things that can make a compelling difference in your life?

Think clearly about your choices. Carefully weigh the pros and cons of your decisions. Consider the long-term and short-term affects. Consider others who may be adversely or positively affected. We don’t live in a vacuum. We need others and we don’t want our actions to be detrimental to others. Ask “what if?” and carefully answer all the what if’s of your choices.

Behave wisely. Propel yourself forward toward your goals by acting in ways to help. Many people crave a better life, but they don’t change their behavior. They act as they always have. They get the same things they always have. And quite often, they wonder why they can’t ever reach their goals. Not getting what you want? Change the way you behave.

Never underestimate hard work either. Choose wisely. Behave wisely. And work hard to get what you want. Life will be richer when you do.

Part of being human is our ability to adapt and adjust. We’re able to do what we must to get along - even if it means going along. That doesn’t hamper our desires. In fact, it contributes to our dissatisfaction.

The person who earns $35,000 a year thinks they’ll achieve greater enjoyment if they can break that $40,000 a year barrier. That extra $5000 a year will make all the difference in the world. They think of how their life will be improved by that extra money. When they get the raise and finally break the barrier, they soon realize it’s not nearly as good as they first thought. Before long, the new barrier is $45,000. That’ll do it. That’s when they’ll find fulfillment.

What they fail to learn is that they adapt and adjust. As they earn more, they soon absorb that revenue growth by escalating their lifestyle, if only slightly. Before long, their current life seems not much different than their old life. A $45,000 life seems an awful lot like a $40,000 life. A new greed kicks in as we seek a higher standard with all the perceived benefits we lack.

All people forget too soon. We forget how good (or bad) things used to. We forget what goals or dreams we were chasing. Our drive for greater gain makes us forget. We adapt. We adjust. We chase more. More is where we’ll all find our wonderful future. More is better. We all want more.

Contentment is really more than accepting today as being good enough. Contentment doesn’t destroy ambition or drive. Contentment settles us. It makes us appreciate what we’ve got - no matter how little or much.

That ability to adapt and adjust is constantly tugging at our contentment. We yearn for bigger paychecks, more youthful faces, sometimes more youthful spouses, nicer houses, fancier cars, better vacations and improved entertainment. Once we settled for less. Today, we need more.

How did we ever live in that house?
How did we ever do that for a living?
I can’t believe I used to drive that.

Have you ever heard that? Have you ever said it yourself? The answer is adapt and adjust. We all do it. It’s an incredible feat of human beings. That one bedroom married housing apartment we once lived in on the campus of LSU is merely a distant memory now. But, I’ve got a secret. I could live there again if I had to. I could adjust. I could adapt. Part of me would love to do it. Rid my life of all this clutter. Simplify things. Go back to basics.

But, that’s not the game life sets before us. The game is more, not less. The game is complex, not simple. The game is to chase, not to be content.

As you grow older you realize you accumulate a lifetime of clutter. You seek to de-clutter, but at some level you crave more clutter. It’s hard to go back, even if it’s in your own mind. Memory fades. We really don’t want to go back. That first apartment or house isn’t a place where we’d want to live today. That first car we had, even if it were new, would be an embarrassment to us today. No, we’ve made the adjustment to our current lifestyle. We weren’t happy back then and we may not be happy today. But tomorrow - once we’ve got that raise, or that new car, or that younger looking face - we’ll be happy! We know we’re just this close to contentment. We just need a few more things in our life, then we’ll be content.

* The photo is a serene scene. Contentment comes to my mind as I envision relaxing at such a place.

It can be learned. Therefore, it’s logical to think it can be taught.

Only to those willing to learn. Otherwise, no.

Coaching hockey and managing people has taught me that uncoachable people can’t be taught anything. Most of the uncoachable people I’ve encountered (young and old alike) were not inclined to listen to anybody. Try as I might, nothing seemed to click with them. So I kept trying, and trying and trying some more. I have a very hard time giving up on people, but I’m learning in my older age to let go. It’s admittedly very difficult.

So, I’ve got some coaches who are helping me. They’re giving me instruction that may just help me realize the truthfulness of that old adage, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” They’re telling me to let go. Stop trying. Learn that you can’t always influence people to behave wiser. Sometimes people just refuse instruction. Focus on accepting help from those who have an interest in your life and focus on helping those who will accept your help. I know it’s wise advice. I need to learn it.

I’ve spent too much of my life trying to get the horse to drink. I hope to find a place where just leading the horse to water is enough. The rest is up to the horse. It’s sad to see a thirsty horse refuse to drink though. That makes the urge stronger, but I’m devoted to giving it my best effort. I think I can do it. It’ll take practice, but I can be a very determined person.

Can wisdom be taught? Not always. And when you realize it cannot be taught - it may be best to stop trying and move on toward more productive behavior.

My leaning toward wisdom is probably better spent being coachable myself.

I think often of movement.

Consider this from dictionary.com:

move·ment
n.

1. 1. The act or an instance of moving; a change in place or position.
   2. A particular manner of moving.
2. A change in the location of troops, ships, or aircraft for tactical or strategic purposes.
3. 1. A series of actions and events taking place over a period of time and working to foster a principle or policy: a movement toward world peace.
   2. An organized effort by supporters of a common goal: a leader of the labor movement.
4. A tendency or trend: a movement toward larger kitchens.
5. A change in the market price of a security or commodity.
6. 1. An evacuation of the bowels.
   2. The matter so evacuated.
7. The suggestion or illusion of motion in a painting, sculpture, or design.
8. The progression of events in the development of a literary plot.
9. The rhythmical or metrical structure of a poetic composition.
10. Music. A self-contained section of an extended composition.
11. A mechanism, such as the works of a watch, that produces or transmits motion.

Okay, let’s don’t dwell on number 6. That’s not quite what I had in mind. I did have in mind motion. Maybe we’d better toss that out here, too. Again, from dictionary.com:

mo·tion
n.

1. The act or process of changing position or place.
2. A meaningful or expressive change in the position of the body or a part of the body; a gesture.
3. Active operation: set the plan in motion.
4. The ability or power to move: lost motion in his arm.
5. The manner in which the body moves, as in walking.
6. A prompting from within; an impulse or inclination: resigned of her own motion.
7. Music. Melodic ascent and descent of pitch.
8. Law. An application made to a court for an order or a ruling.
9. A formal proposal put to the vote under parliamentary procedures.
10. 1. A mechanical device or piece of machinery that moves or causes motion; a mechanism.
    2. The movement or action of such a device.

No progress is ever made without motion or movement.

We can’t improve, learn, grow or mature without motion or movement. A baby learns to crawl by moving, at first unsuccessful. Soon, he stands - wobbly at first, until he dares to attempt forward movement. Without that daring attempt, he’s remain on the floor doomed to crawl through life. Babies aren’t the only ones who crawl through life.

Motion and movement also involve moving away from other things. People have to move away from toxic behaviors that would destroy them. Watch the TV show, “Intervention.”

Unless people make up their mind to leave behind some things, they’ll never grasp other (often times more important) things.

Yet, motion or movement don’t necessarily denote progress. As I began to work out over a month ago I learned movement is important for physical fitness. It doesn’t matter if you get anywhere spacially. I can spend long periods of time on treadmills, but I’m not progressing anywhere spacially. I’m progressing physically, but my body isn’t moving from that space. I’m merely moving within that space. It’s helping me get fit. It’s motion with a purpose.

I sometimes see others with lives full of motion. They’re going here. They’re going there. They’re rushing around all over the place. At the end of the day they’ve done nothing though. They’ve reached no destination. They’ve exerted lots of energy. They’ve engaged in much motion. But it’s worthless.

The motion and movement I’ve been thinking about is the kind that progresses us toward our goals (dreams that we’ve written down and committed ourselves to). Some days we all grow lax. Some days we don’t make much progress because we don’t move much. Other days our lives seem full of motion and movement, but as the Talking Heads song says, “We’re on a road to nowhere.” It’s exhausting, isn’t it? And worse yet, it’s depressing.

Some years ago I heard a person speak of “efforting.” His idea was simple, but pretty profound. People can sometimes press so hard, give so much effort that they sabotage their own success because they’re engaged in too much motion. Too much movement can be a bad thing I guess.

We’ve all seen that. Some of us have experienced it firsthand. The NFL quarterback to tries to do too much to get his team back into the game and ends up derailing all hope of a comeback because his decisions become poorer. The team that falls behind and panics robbing themselves of any hope to get back into the competition. The employee who chases the promotion too hard making the boss think he’s not the person for the job.

I don’t profess to know where the line exists between efforting too hard and not hard enough. Sometimes I tend to err on the side of efforting too much. Other times I don’t effort at all.

In my experience, less efforting almost always results in no or poor results. Efforting more (and there’s always that “working smart” idea to keep in mind) rarely fails. What does fail, in my opinion, is efforting harder (more) of the same things that have never worked.

Panic never works, for instance. Panic all you want and usually it just make the motion fruitless.

Beating your head against a wall won’t work either. “Do it harder,” is hardly the best advice to the person banging their head against a wall. It’s motion. It’s movement. But it’s stupid. First, they need to STOP! Stop banging your head against the wall. START doing something else. Get going. Get movement and motion happening, but consider where you’re headed and do those things that will take you closer to your goal.

I suppose that’s the key ingredient - know what you want! What is your goal? What is your objective? If it’s merely to get through another day, then keep moving the way your moving. Just keep in motion killing time.

But if you want to get something positive accomplished - if you want to actually get somewhere, then spend some time considering what you really want. I’m a big believer in writing down what you want. For me, few things are as powerful as thoughtful writing of dreams, goals and ambitions. For decades wise sages have suggested people write down their goals to give them strength and life. It works.

The hard part of it may be figuring out what you want. Sometimes we don’t know what we want. We just know we want something different. What? Who knows?

The funny thing is that when we hit those moments, we rarely change anything. We hang around the same people. We do the same things each day. We talk to the same people. We listen to the same music. We read the same books. We eat the same food. And we miraculously expect our life to change. Won’t happen. Ever.

Move. Engage the wheels of your mind, and your body. For me the question, “What do you have to lose?” is ever present. What indeed?

Why not stop hanging around the same people who have yet to propel us forward?
Why not stop behaving as we’ve always behaved - if only to see what changes might occur?
Why not try a different route to work?
Why not try a different diet (eat something new)?
Why not adjust your schedule?
Why not alter what you watch on TV?
Why not alter or add to what you read? (If you don’t read, start.)

Move toward progress. Move toward maturity in areas where you know you need it. Some of us are quite mature in some areas and very immature in others. It’s a sure strategy to soar with your strengths and focus on doing what you do best - but it’s foolish to avoid working on the areas where we need to grow and improve. Learn something new. Embrace instruction. Embrace coaching from those who can help. Steer clear from toxic people who do nothing to help you become better. Moderate your time with those who are fun, but irresponsible.

Move. Move toward your goal. Whether the steps are small or great - who cares? Some days you’ll make great strides. Other days you’ll be taking baby steps. It doesn’t matter. What matters is the direction. What matters is that today you end your day having done your best to make progress toward your goals. Don’t allow any day to end without having done NOTHING to grow. That is what movement and motion are all about.

Avoid your own road to nowhere.